I'm sure this has come up already but...
Women and their damn weight.

Countless times I've heard obviously overweight women complaining about how "I'm SOOOOOOOOO fat!!!" Only for their friend to respond that " of COURSE you're not!". Why are women incapable of responding to this with some constructive advice, instead of simply ignoring the elephant in the room? I once absent-mindedly tried to go along with everyone else, but apparently "you're not that fat" was still wrong.

Of course it would be insensitive to go and point out that someone's overweight, but if they're going to bring it up themselves then they should get a response along the lines of try exercising more regularly and eating less, or some similar supportive/constructive advice, not just a lie that encourages them to avoid adressing their issues. If you don't want people to mention something you're insecure about then start by not mentioning it yourself.

Would a man get the same response? Of course not. And fine, there is less pressure on men to be thin, but then again, if some bloke came out with "my cock is just too small", I don't imagine he'd get anyone saying "not it's not, it's HUGE!".

Similarly with hair. An acquaintance was complaining that she didn't like her haircut, as she'd decided the fringe didn't suit her. Apparently 'don't worry, it'll grow out soon enough' wasn't the correct response, in her mind.

Whilst with more negative stereotypes there are many exceptions, and it is true that many women absolutely do not go fishing for compliments in this way, I've NEVER seen or heard of a woman not going along with the bullshit when someone else does.
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:04, 19 replies)

this is definitely full of trues
However, the best response is "I love you just the way you are". That way, it makes them feel better, less insecure and more likely to do something about it themselves, rather than just being a miserable old cow with a bad haircut and a fat arse.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:11, closed)

very true
I did get in trouble for not really paying attention so I just said Yes you are maybe exercising might help. That isn't a good thing to say ^^.
(Just Me being probed by aliens since, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:12, closed)

The thing is, it is a god thing to say
they just don't realise it.

If you're fat and you're unhappy about it then the logical next step is to try to address it by losing weight, and so advice and/or encouragement in this endeavor should be welcomed, maybe along with some sympathy and recognition that it's not an easy task in many cases.

If you're fat, unhappy, not trying to lose weight and complaining about it then you're an idiot and the last thing you need or deserve is someone telling you you're thin.
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:45, closed)

Aye!
I am chubby too and i dont broadcast it in the sense of saying omg im so fat coz well that's inviting trouble. Just fucking walk or eat less haha which is what i be doing now :D
(Just Me being probed by aliens since, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:48, closed)

Good stuff
and I hope/am sure you'll feel all the better for it.
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:50, closed)

I do!
Thanks:)
(Just Me being probed by aliens since, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:52, closed)

This
would be why I have virtually no female friends
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:25, closed)

I somehow managed to make a reasonable number of them
increasing both my exposure to this phenomenon and chances to fall afoul of it.
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:42, closed)

Me too
But being female and Bi means i get away with it...OK that's a lie i don't get away with it i just don't give a shite. If you don't want someone agreeing with you don't say it (if you are fat that is).
:D
(Just Me being probed by aliens since, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:45, closed)

Well
Verily this post has inspired me to post a sort-of explanation: www.b3ta.com/questions/sexism/post603102
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 19:28, closed)

I have a friend
who constantly says "god i'm so fat" and at first we all replied with "oh you're not you're ok as you are" and all that crap. But she still carries on and it gets on all of our nerves so now whenever she says it one of us will feign surprise and shout "OHMYGOD YOU ARE!!"
(stitched, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:50, closed)

HA HA
Women amuse me, so being one i am 24/7 amused....that's not true but normal woman make me laugh with the silliness.
(Just Me being probed by aliens since, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 18:52, closed)

"Why are women incapable of responding to this with some constructive advice, instead of simply ignoring the elephant in the room?"

Yeah, I just never talk to the fatties.
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Sat 2 Jan 2010, 19:05, closed)

Do not forget the scourge of the "retrospective insult".
If a bloke says "you look nice today", it implies that I look like shit the rest of the time. You horrible bastard.
(lonelybadger, Sat 2 Jan 2010, 22:03, closed)

being size 12
and the largest of my friends my response to them is normally.

Them: I'm so fat, i think i'll try ..... diet next.
Me: So you're what, size 10?
Them: Yes.
Me: And you think YOU'RE fat? I'm size 12, do you think I'M fat? because i know i'm not.
Them: of course you're not fat.
Me: shut up then.
(kellysprinkles dying for a pee since, Sun 3 Jan 2010, 8:44, closed)

But
are they size 10 and 4 foot 8 and you size 12 and 6 foot 6? ;-)
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sun 3 Jan 2010, 10:20, closed)

haha!
i wish! they're taller than me (average 5ft 4) and range from size 8-10... i'm size 12 and 5ft 1ish.
(kellysprinkles dying for a pee since, Sun 3 Jan 2010, 14:08, closed)

I see
Well then continue calling them on their bullshit!

That, or just agree with them in the most tactless way possible, along the lines of 'Yes, you're hideous, you'd better go and hide in a dark corner and stop repulsing the rest of us', instead of encouraging their whinging like the others seem to :-p (just to clarify, I'm not suggesting that they're actually fat, but if they will insist on going on about it...)
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sun 3 Jan 2010, 15:11, closed)

I'm with you on that kellysprinkles
I'm a size 12 too (and 5'3", just for reference) and I get this shit from my several of my workmates, all of them between sizes 6 to (a small) 10. I say *exactly* what you say to them and it doesn't seem to sink in at all. Aaaaaaaaaargh!!

The thing is that I'm very happy with my weight and my figure now. I've been a size 8 and I've been a size 18, the latter being the one I was happier with (I obtained decent-sized norks being one of the reasons).

To quote the best line in Bridget Jones' Diary (sorry), 'I like a woman with an arse you can park a bike in and balance a pint of beer on.' From what many of my male friends have said, they'd much rather a woman with a bit of meat on.
(ninja chinchilla, Wed 6 Jan 2010, 22:53, closed)