Dog Poo Grenade
Once while out walking with my dog he stopped, as dogs tend to do and curled out the biggest, foul smelling shite that I've ever seen. The fucker pretty much filled the plastic bag I shovelled it into. With no turd bin in sight I ended up carrying it around with me for most of the walk. Going across a playing field he decides he wants to run around like a lunatic and be a general annoyance...cue me running around trying to put him on his lead before he upsets someone...he's not violent, just way too friendly for his own good. A bunch of the local chav brigade were gathered in one corner drinking and on spotting my labrador generally enjoying life they decided to start chucking rocks at him. Without a second though I launched the plastic bag full of shit through the air at them. The smelly missile flew through the air, hitting one of the group square in the chest, bursting on impact. The sight was funny for about 20 seconds until I had to sprint back home with hound in tow as they did the natural thing and chased us. A dangerous game to play but if you mess with my dog then I tend to get quite protective.
(Freak on a Leash is jerking off to centre himself on, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 18:54, 6 replies)

Awesome
Well done for:
1) Looking out for your animal

2)Being a responsible dog owner and picking the shit up to begin with

and (most importantly):

3)Covering a chav in dog shit.

Have a *click*
(pharmatron Death or Scunthorpe? CHOOSE!!, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 18:59, closed)

What he said.
Well done. You should be proud of yourself. I'm not a dog lover in the slightest, but I'd never hurt one unless it was going for me. Well done for protecting your own!
*click*
(joepublic 's opinion does not represent that of the public, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 19:06, closed)

Excellent show!
*Clicks*
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 20:06, closed)

Love it!
Thought you behaved most admirably old chap. A similar thing happened to my sister once; out walking the dog and a chav tried to burn him in the face with a lighter. She did the responsible thing and kicked him in the face.


Didn't give chase, too surprised to have been just kicked I believe.
(McFreedom, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 0:34, closed)

Clicks
Nice one.

Throw-a-turd-at-a-chav should be made an Olympic sport in time for 2012.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 1 Apr 2008, 9:51, closed)

I fully intend
To write a song entitled 'Dog Poo Grenade'

In honour of this post.
(pharmatron Death or Scunthorpe? CHOOSE!!, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 17:54, closed)