once upon a time..
I have a sister 6 years my elder. As of now we get on rather wonderfully but back in the bleak past it wasn't such a wonderful time.

My sisters always proclaims I had a massive bar of chocolate and being the young spoilt little shit rag that I was (am) and despite the fact she always shared stuff with me.. I was refusing to give her any of the chocolate. My mother at this point called me inside from the garden and off I trotted leaving my chocolate outside. Hannah, my sister, took this opportunity to scoff the lot of it. Now at this time Copper, our dog, had a stomach virus. A virus that made his anus release brown liquids rather than solids. Hannah scraped up his liquidy shit on to the wrapper and placed it back where I had left it. Happy go lucky 4 year old me comes trotting back out into the garden to discover a brown puddle where his chocolate once was.
Dearest Hannah explains to me that my chocolate has melted in the sun and I believe her. I proceed to eat it. All of it. The bit my sister tells with relish is that once I'd finished it I came over to her and said,

"Hannah, melted chocolate doesn't taste as nice does it."

Fortunately the only thing I really remember about this incident was the aftermath. My faeces afterwards.. I produced a white and an orange shit. they're the sorts of memories you can cherish for ever.
( arrangedletters, Fri 26 Dec 2008, 23:48, 8 replies)

If this is true
then it must be one of the most horrendous true stories I have ever, ever heard
(Snake (on a) Crane FKA thwack, Sat 27 Dec 2008, 10:14, closed)

it is.
I know worse... depending on which order you rank bodily functions.
( arrangedletters, Sat 27 Dec 2008, 14:04, closed)

you know what?
that would be a much better start to the film '28 days later' than that business with monkeys. Child eats dog shit catches rage- i like it!
(Discreditor wants the dream to come true, Sat 27 Dec 2008, 12:27, closed)

Weird
So it never crossed your mind to wonder: "Hang on - this chocolate tastes revolting. I should stop eating it"?
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Sat 27 Dec 2008, 16:19, closed)

Not
all dog poo is as bad as you might think.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 27 Dec 2008, 18:26, closed)

no memory
but psychologically speaking I don't think it's impossible not to, especially being so young.

strangely I still reacted badly to 2 girls 1 cup.. no subconscious desensitization either.
( arrangedletters, Sat 27 Dec 2008, 22:30, closed)

^
this
(shamen Geekius Maximus, Sat 27 Dec 2008, 23:40, closed)

Fuckity
fuckity fuck. Fuck. Fucking fuck.

Utterly revolting *click*
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 7 Jan 2009, 4:44, closed)