Oh to be young and foolish again!
I'm the youngest of three brothers, therefore the one to suffer in every situation. Due to our play fights (resulting in me taking a smack to the head or a kick in the stomach) 'the A team' and WWF wrestling was actually banned in our household until we could watch it without meeting in the middle of the lounge afterwards for a battle royale.... A battle i never won.

Aside from the ritualistic torture and verbal abuse i got from my brothers, i remember one occasion that i STILL haven`t forgiven them for..... (I refuse to do the 'wavy line' thing for it is the Noughties and it just makes me plain sad when people do)....

I was about 5 or 6, It was mid july, not long after my birthday which i celebrated in style, Jelly, cake, ice-cream, bitches and Speed. I sat in the front garden watching the blazing sun dip below the horizon, playing with my Lion-o (make of that what you will but it DID have a red end) listening to the themes from rainbow and button moon and other 80's things you'll find on 'best of' shows...and all was well with the world.

After tea and a bath, i was all tucked up in under my star wars blanket in my spiderman pygama's and ready to drift off when my Brother came in to the room. With a large smile and an evil glint in his eye, he prodded me awake promising great news.

"It's Christmas tomorrow" he told me. "Make sure you get to sleep as fast as you can so it'll come round quicker"

I nodded excitedly, closed my eyes and tried desperately to get to sleep, attempting to guess what i was going to get and quite how it had slipped my mind!? Christmas! Yaaaaaaayyy....SNooorrrrrre (Nb, This is a dramatic device. I didn`t snore as a child, neither do i snore now. I sleep like an angel and anyone who tells you different is a twat and should be burned for heresy)

I awoke at 3:30...Too excited to sleep anymore, knowing that HE had been as everyone knows he comes at midnight...right? I quietly got out of bed, crept out of my room and down the stairs. The suspense was killing me. Down the hall, through the door in to the lounge...but wait.... No christmas tree.... No decorations.......No presents!?!

A part of me died that warm summer night.

When my dad got up to tell me off for getting up in the night and wandering around the house (A double wammy of hurt), he found me sitting in the middle of the floor, Quietly weeping in to my Spidey Jim jams, vowing to never believe my brother again...ever!

I got the last laugh though, Come Christmas for real, i sawed of his face,rubbed thermite in to his open nostils and set fire to him.*

*may not be true, I just realised how long and serious this is. Thanks for your time, it's been very cathartic.
(Billyfindus Shy and retarded since, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 12:48, 1 reply)

Aaaaaahh
Bless
(kitescreech still here, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 19:57, closed)