The Sport of Kings
Way back when I were but a feral teen hanging out in parks drinking cheap vodka bought from dodgy corner shops my friends and I had a simple but brilliant game known as 'Shoe Flicking'. The premise was to simply swing on the swings and flick your shoes off as far as you could. Like I said, simple. The playground we went to was perfect for this as there was a small fence surrounding the playground which was the perfect distance away to aim for. It wasn't easy to reach it, but not impossible either.

The game had evolved, incorporating rules such as 'You cannot transfer shoes from foot to foot'. This was made relevant due to some people having a cracking right foot but a piss poor left foot. I was one of these people.

One Sunday morning, the playground devoid of children, we had decided on a quick game of this majestic sport. Jay, who was the best at this, had taken his usual swing, far on the left. Matt placed next to him and me to the right of Matt. Jay went first, right shoe, over the fence, left shoe, hit the fence. It was a good attempt. Next up was Matt, he wasn't the best but got both shoes a respectable foot or two from the fence. Then it was my turn. I geed myself up and shuffled my shoe off. I swang and swang. I had to beat Jay, I just had to. My first shoe went sailing over the fence. I could do this, I could be the first to get the 'Double Whamee'. I could get both shoes from the same round over the fence. I swang as hard as I could. I could feel my heart pumping and I knew the time was right to release.

...There it was, rising higher and higher, higher still. Only, it wasn't going forward. I had managed to flick my shoe directly above me. There was nothing I could do but wait. As if Fate himself had conspired against me, my shoe hit me square in the head as I was swinging forward. I backflipped off the swing and hit the floor, a plume of dust rising. The swing kept swinging, now behind me. As I attempted to regain any dignity I could, I slowly started getting up. I had barely moved when the swing crashed into the back of my head, forcing me to the ground yet again. This time, I just stayed down.

Length? A good 50-60 feet on a good day
(Martin1337 was trying and failing to be funny at, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 19:41, 1 reply)

Certainly one of the funniest things that I have ever seen.

(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 0:18, closed)