New Year's Day 2004
I wake up with a bit of a hangover - nothing unusual in that - and reach over to the bedside table to put my glasses on. In my stumbling, oafish way, as soon as I touch them I manage to break off one of the arms. Right at the bastard hinge, so there's about 2 square millimetres of metal that could possibly be joined together. I'm in need of superglue, and there's none in the house.

"Bugger," thinks I. "I'll have to go and get some." So it was that I found myself in Woolworths on New Year's Day, trying not to look too green and bilious. I grab a bottle of superglue and pay for it, then retreat to a corner of the store to sort myself out. I burst the seal on the glue and it squirts all over my fingers. Instinctively I put my finger to my mouth. Dammit, I now have superglue on my lip. Never mind, my mouth isn't stuck together and I can chew it off once it's dry. But I still have superglue all over my fingers and I'm in woolies - there's nowhere to wipe my hand, so thinking quickly, I lift my foot and wipe it on the sole of my trainer.

Then carefully (without the aid of my glasses) I apply a little glue to the arm and hold it in place until the glue has set. It's a bit fiddly and requires all my hungover concentration. I'm sure there's something I should be thinking about but for now I can't quite remember what it should be - fixing my glasses is the number one priority. Aw bugger, it didn't quite stick properly. Never mind, try again. After about 20 minutes of this, the security guard is giving the young man with a glazed expression (almost totally blind without my specs) who is fiddling with an open bottle of superglue more than his fair share of attention and the missus is tugging at my arm to leave, but wait! I've done it - I've successfully glued my glasses back together! Never mind that I have dried glue all over my fingers and mouth, I can see again! Triumphantly (but carefully, I don't want to end up gluing the bloody things to my head) I put my glasses back on, put the cap back on the glue and make to leave the store.

At which point I realised I'd glued my trainers to the floor.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 12:27, 2 replies)

Haha, been there
I wandered into the living room one day when my dad was fixing something, not noticing the tube of superglue on the floor. I stepped on it (in bare feet!), it burst and stuck my entire heel solidly to the carpet.

Can't be arsed to submit that as a story, no way I can drag it out to anecdote proportions.
( Dave McF wrote some words on, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 13:36, closed)

This is why I have a saying..
Whne things go bad with superglue, they don't stop, they just keep getting worse until you either put the lid on or run out of glue!
( The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 15:15, closed)