Bad Smells"I once left the world's stinkiest guff in a lift before sending it down to a group of Germans, all bustling to be first in the doors upon its arrival," giggles Boarders. Tell us your stories involving farts, noxious gasses and unpleasant smells.
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chthonic, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 11:56)
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Fart midwifeI was once out with family in a very busy Islington pub celebrating a family birthday and a promotion. I had the worst trapped wind ever, and was in quite considerable pain. "Mum" I said, "I've got a horrible fart baby."
Mum, being slightly merry at this point, jumped to attention and proclaimed "Don't worry! I'll be your fart midwife!" and proceeded to rub my stomach and lower back until I let out an exceptionally heavy, evil smelling fart. Once I'd gone into labour, they just kept on coming!
Well, as I said the pub was incredibly busy, but these farts cleared a massive space around us. Every so often, someone would breach the imaginary line of fart safety, only to recoil in horror at the smell. Mum seemed horrified at what she'd had a hand in the birth of. "Why do they smell like that?" I didn't know. Being a girl, my farts don't usually smell at all.
The next day, I came down ill with a virus. A few days after that, mum rang to say that she'd come down ill too and the day before she had suffered from toxic farts as well. Strange. xx
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lucifer101, Sat 18 Jan 2014, 14:03,
1 reply)
There is nothing at all creepy about you and your mum's relationship.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 18 Jan 2014, 14:19,
closed)
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