Facebook stalking
A few years ago I started dating this really nice man. If you've read any of my previous QOTW answers you'll know that my success with anything is fairly limited, but as far as relationships with the opposite sex go..well, lets just say I tend to pick the ones who are most likely to make my life uncomfortable, if not down right miserable.

SO, dating this guy, he's a few years older than me, he's kind and thoughtful, old fashioned - in as much as he wants to pay for dinner when he takes me out, he seems to think I'm fab, and I quite like him too. Everything is going swimmingly.

Cut to 6 months on. I am utterly, utterly, utterly bored out of my brains. This man can talk shit about nothing for HOURS. I have started drinking very heavily in order to get through our dates - without a glass of wine in my hand I am likely to sock him right in his never-ending-stories-about-nothing-spewing mouth. He has also starting showing a little streak of jealousy. Nothing major you understand, nothing to worry about, just a little pinched look around his mouth when I mention a male instructor at the gym, or a friends husband.

3 months on. I am almost permanently pissed. I have got the sign of stigmata on my palms from digging my nails into them whenever I'm with him. I'VE GOT TO FINISH THIS! But, my brain keeps telling me "he's nice, he's good for you, stick it out, it might be ok" and another half pint of vodka seems to do the trick. Of course, with all the drunkenness I'm not really noticing that his jealous streak has turned into more of a jealous chasm. I keep stumbling into this chasm; my crimes seem varied and intangible. Not replying to texts quickly enough, not putting enough kisses on texts, buying a new pair of jeans, being hungover, not wanting sex for the 7th time in one night etc, etc. Occasionally, I will get up on a Saturday morning to find an avalanche of texts from him demanding to know where I am (and as I'm tucked up in bed and fast asleep I have failed to respond in the correct time frame) and then escalating into strange threats that he "knows people" and I’d better "watch over your shoulder". Weird. He apologises profusely - swears it'll never happen again, but the trust is broken. We limp along for another couple of weeks until I log in to my facebook account to find all sorts of strange things on there. In my inbox there are emails read which I know I HAVEN'T read. My funwall seems odd as well - it all just feels a bit like someone has been rooting through it. I log into my hotmail account - again, emails that appear read have not been read by me. I ponder this strange set of affairs for quite a while, and then confront the boyfriend. He denies everything, but then asks me if I'm planning on "fucking the 25 year lad on your facebook profile, I notice you've been emailing him, and he gets 3 kisses at the end of the message, what do I fucking get?"

END OF RELATIONSHIP

25 year old boy is my 2nd cousin. I do not play the banjo.

Long story short (It may be a bit late for that) he made my life very uncomfortable for quite a while. If I went out with my friends he always seemed to magically turn up 10 minutes later. He'd then stand at the bar, drink in hand, mouth working overtime, staring at me. *shudder*. The text messages went on for about 3 months, they veered from "sorry, I'm so sorry princess" to "you are a fucking whore, I knew it the first time I saw your filthy mouth" (!! quite sexy from the right person haha)

The last time I saw him I threatened him with the police. I don't think that was what stopped him though - the same night I saw him talking to a girl at the bar. She also appeared to have a whores mouth and a hint of vulnerability too. Poor cow.

Apologies for length - How did he know where I'd be?
( my_cat_has_no_shoes meh meh meh MEH MEH, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 15:44, 2 replies)

that is creepy and quite sad
and a I recognise a lot of it, so have a click for solidarity.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 16:52, closed)

"25 year old boy is my 2nd cousin. I do not play the banjo."
is my new favouritest phrase. Have a *click* :)
( Maladicta, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 20:30, closed)