Ahhh Chris
When I was about 16 I had a brief encounter with a bloke called Chris. He was tall, dark, and a bit....worrying. But it's alright because I was very, very drunk.

The Friday night we drunkenly snogged I went home on my own, perfectly happy that I was ON MY OWN and went to bed. The next night I went out to the same bar and again, met Chris. He was very, very clingy and I had to have a quiet word along the lines of 'I was drunk, you're a bit frightening, please leave me alone'.

Fair enough, thinks I. I then walk home, this time with a big male friend who has seen the way Chris was acting and decided it'd be better for me to have a bit of company. Again, we were happy with being on our own, or so we though.


But we can't have been. Chris must have followed us.

My bedroom at my parents house was at the back, and my window looked over the flat roof of the kitchen. I went to bed that night, with the window open to allow my lovely cat to go in and out as she pleased. Mistake.

Half twoish am, I am shaken rather violently awake by Chris, who is very angry that I have ended our 'relationship' and wants an explanation.

'DAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!' Screams I, whilst kicking Chris rather hard in the shoulder (I was aiming for his head but he was at the wrong angle).

It's all alright now, I didn't see him after that night and haven't since. I think my dad holding him up against my wardrobe by his neck and explaining in great detail which bits of him will be removed if he ever goes near his precious daughter again may have helped.

Cheers,
Legsaplenty.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 16:23, Reply)