Make your own stalker
Many years ago when i was young and naive and young, I was sitting at the bar downing many a pint when the girl i was to be suddenly and madly in love with tapped me on the shoulder. Wheels turned and it wasnt long before i was hers and she was mine. Joy. When we first started going out, she shared her dark and terrible secret: she was being stalked by her previous beau, a and strange and dangerous man. The signs were there, it all made sense. He was violent, a freak and a weirdo. She couldnt explain why shed ever dated him, but now she had me and the world was almost perfect. So I gave him the hard time he rightly deserved. I was hard and tough and manly but without being too forceful, at her insistence. "please, he means no harm" she pleaded. And so it was that i protected my new found love from this terrible menace.

Time moved on, as time likes to do and after much of the usual anguish that goes with these things it all came to a slow and ugly end. There was of course one last emotion charged meeting which saw me vow that she would never hear from me again and that I would very much like to receive the same. She had cut me to the soul and i meant my words. I never did go near her again.

More time passes. Sun rises and flowers grow. A couple of years later i became good friends with the brother of the now ex's stalker ex. from here I learned many things. First on the list was that the new freinds brother was not the unhinged maniac I had been sold. He was in fact a shy, gentle and affable bloke, and it turns out when we first started going out he was at the time the current boyfriend of my now distant ex . He'd never been told he was sacked, she'd just chosen and moved on to me, promoting him to the role of mad killer stalker #1 in the process. It also comes out that shed also given me the sack some time before I finally cracked, my efforts to straighten out our relationship being sold to bloke #3 as the deranged actions of a mad stalker #2, a promotion for me! So to this bloke the poor girl had two loons after her. Fortunately, I never met him. The last and best piece is that I found out at a gathering of mutual acquaintances that it seems I continued to stalk her some time after id said my last good byes. Despite the fact I never saw/spoke or heard from her again. Not a bad effort on my behalf id say.
(lazy killer robot found that beer tastes better when your older, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 2:40, 1 reply)

Hint
If you hold the shift key down when typing a letter, it will let you type a capital.

No, please, don't thank me.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 13:44, closed)