Stalkers. The reason we have locks on our doors.
Two examples strongly spring to mind, though nowhere near as frightening as some of the Specimens already written about on here.

1st was when I was maybe 20, knew her vaguely from primary school, briefly bumped into her at a club and agreed to meet up another time to catch up. Literally from that meeting she assumed we were in a serious relationship. And we certainly weren’t. Referred to my mum like she was her best friend, talked to me like we had been married ten years. It got really confusing. I began to relate to those people that awake from long comas with no recollection of their loved ones, was I missing something?

Then it got creepy. Subtle stuff at first, aside from the excessive phone calls and turning up on the doorstep saying she was “just passing”, when my parents lived out in the serious sticks. Comments like “I don’t think I could live my life without you in it” and “if anything happened to you, part of me would die too”.

I had more alarms going off than ADT. Went round hers, sat her down and told her firmly but fairly to keep away from me. She threatened to commit suicide, and even offered to show me her collection of tablets. Told her to grow up and I drove home.

Two hours later I get a call from the hospital, from some nurse gently telling me my “ your girlfriend just wants you to know she loves you ”. Nutty tart went through with it, but called for an ambulance just before she started gargling. They pumped her stomach, and carted her off to the “specialists”. 15 years later she tagged me on Facebook, strangely I’m keeping my distance.

The 2nd was far more equipped to deliver the scare factor. Had an on/off relationship with her spanning four or five years. What made her so scary was her resourcefulness. Was like I had just split from a loopy Lara Croft. During our “off” period she hacked into my home PC remotely to see who I was talking to. She did a stakeout at the airport at the end of my holiday so she could see whom collects me, then followed my taxi home so obviously that even the taxi driver began to shed a concern and glue his eyes to his rear-view n wings.

Her coup-de-grace consisted of breaking into my apartment after I had changed the locks with no sign of forced entry, and left “our song” playing on a loop on my stereo. What made that more disturbing, was the CD must have heated up or got scratched so poor old Bryan Adams got stuck on the same creepy lyric “Well we wont come down tonight, Well we wont come down tonight,” Made my blood freeze, I searched and cleared my home like the SAS, thinking she was still there, holed up in my airing cupboard waiting to jump out like Begbie from Trainspotting or something. When I shakily rang her to threaten authorities, padded cells, Texas style home protection. She honestly thought her actions were the most romantic of gestures and even suggested I was over-reacting. You know when you start asking yourself “ What the F**k is she gonna do next” that things have gone off the bright, sunny track that the relationship started on.

In fact just thinking about these two makes me pull the duvet covers under my chin.

Length? Well with one it never even got that far, and the 2nd clearly went to some extra-ordinary ones.
(Eeeza bit Tidy A blink, a pause, a blush and then I knew., Mon 4 Feb 2008, 18:11, 2 replies)

Loopy Lara Croft
*click*
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 5 Feb 2008, 12:30, closed)

Bryan Adams...
Cloud Number 9?

Ugh
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 10:43, closed)