Stuffed bric a brack
One girl I was seeing bought me a small polished pebble and a figurine of a teddy bear driving a car. Apparently I was supposed to react like it was the best present anyone had ever bought me.

Indeed, although being ungrateful is not in my nature, my lack of enthusiasm was a complete and utter shock to her. We didn't last.

It's easy. Men like toys and gadgets. We're not adverse to shiny things, provided they make us feel manly and empowered.

We. Explicitly. Do. Not. Want. Fucking. Teddy. Bears.

It demonstrates no thought whatsoever. Doesn't matter if they've spent a fiver on something that they've put a good deal of thought into (ie I didn't realise I needed it until I unwrapped it) then they're going to win more respect than if they buy me fifty quid's worth of something they think I should wear. I don't care if it's come from an Italian fashion house, I'd rather wear my faded olive green tee shirt with the Smash Martian on the front of it.

*edit* - PJM wishes to point out that despite the above, he is extremely fond of kittens.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 5 Feb 2008, 16:58, Reply)