Not sure if it counts but..
it felt damn like stalking to me! And I guess I can be forgiven seeing as I'm a b3ta noob and all.

So, as the usual pattern goes, I was 18 and half way through my first year at University. I'm doing pretty well, I live in a five person commune with my boyfriend at the time, Richard (now very much ex :p) living two floors up from me in student halls.

To give a bit of background here, I've been chatting on one particular online forum since I was sixteen, it's all a bit of a giggle and I'm a mostly sensible girl when it comes to the internet and you freakos out there! But there's this one guy, Canadian, let's call him Canadiaboy. I had been chatting with him about as much as anybody else but he seemed to have been forming somewhat of an attachment to me. He'd send me post, which was alright, everybody likes having letters in their letter boxes, makes them feel popular and such. But Valentines day he sends me a card. Uh.. Richard doesn't really like this and I can't say I disagreed with him when a rose turned up a little later. Hm.. So I got online and I told him straight out that he knew I had a boyfriend and his behaviour was out of order. Canadiaboy backed off immediately, apologised and it all stopped. Or so I thought.

So one day, Canadiaboy IMs me and remarks that he's taking a two week holiday to Ireland soon, oh cool! I say, Ireland is great, you'll love it. So he waxes on about this trip for a while and then, completely out of the blue he drops in, 'Oh and seeing how London is on my way back from Ireland (is it really?) I've booked some more time off so I can come and stay with you!' You have, have you?? Buut being the generous and rather naieve soul that I was I blithely accepted thinking it'll be fine! I live with four other people, Richard is just up the stairs and people are all about, he'll never be able to murder me it's cool. Oh the foolishness of an 18 year old!

So, Easter is coming up and Richard announces that he's going away for three weeks on tour over Europe. And great! It's right over Canadiaboy's visit. So I freak out slightly and Richard gives me the keys to his room so that I have somewhere to go if I need it and off he goes, swanning off to cheat on me. But that's another bitter story ;)

The day comes of Canadiaboy's arrival, I am hungover like all hell and manage to bully my housemate into coming with me to pick up this weirdo. All seems to be okay, he's short and wiry with a buzzcut and this odd way of looking at me, which I manage to ignore through my hungover eyesight for a while and we go on for a bit. I get him settled on a mattress on my floor and after about half an hour he starts asking if we can go Iceskating. Sure, the rink is still open at Broadgate so why not I say. And he grins and says, cool it's a date! Uh.. no it's not. Especially not the way he says it! But he won't take 'it's not a date' for an answer so I give up and play along thinking maybe this is his only weird quirk..

Anyway, a day passes and night follows, involving the student bar where I had roped as many of my friends in as possible because I didn't want to be alone with this guy! He begins by getting drunk off his face on Strongbow and then getting upset that I wouldn't sit on his lap. My Irish friend Nathan eventually comes to my rescue, sweet boy Nathan. And Canadiaboy then decides to be oh so funny and call Nathan welsh all evening. Need I mention that he laughed at his own joke because nobody else would? Nathan put up with this bithely for a while before hitting back with a grin and calling Canadiaboy American. At which Canadiaboy flies off the handle and gets in a MASSIVE strop!

Night ends a few hours later of ignoring my 'guest' and he's so drunk he can't walk straight. So I'm pushing him down the corridor to my room when he just sits down on the floor and proclaims that he's going to be sick and he can't be assed to walk the three paces to the toilet. At which point I snapped and yelled at him until he did go to the toilet. I settled him in my room and promptly left to sleep in Richard's room..

I stayed up in Richard's flat for hours into the day the next day until I saw Canadiaboy leave for sightseeing and I even left it thirty minutes after that before I dared venture back to my own room. Where I saw he'd left lovesick poetry, really pathetic poetry ALL over my room. On my pillow, on my computer, actually INSIDE my cello case (fucker..) etc.. At which point I send him an SMS to explain that I just got really busy at college and wouldn't be able to hang out that day and spent the whole day in the pub just to avoid him (oh the hardship!). My friend from the same forum, Jem heard about this and drove 3 hours down just to rescue me from this ass because he knew him online too and spent the whole night chatting with this guy simply so I could sit in silence and suffer quietly. I loved Jem for that. And then after another painful night I cracked and called my brother in floods of tears just begging him to take this freakshow off of my hands! My brother also being on this forum. So, bless him my brother agreed and the next day arrived to sweep Canadiaboy off to the south for the last few days and thus ends my torment.

And so, it is entirely Canadiaboy's fault that I developed an irrational fear of the canadian accent and an equally irrational hatred of Strongbow..


length? wohoo! not half bad for a first timer!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 8:50, 5 replies)

There's nothing irrational
about a hatred of Strongbow.

But, (so you don't think I ignored the entire rest of your post), frankly I'm impressed you didn't kick this guy in the nuts. That's some serious self-restraint.
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 9:39, closed)

That's a real shame
My experience with canadians has been nothing but lovely. (It sure beats the british public).

My current girlfriend and ex for that matter, are both canadian and i've spent about 6 months total time in canada. It's an awesome place and the people are so lovely, it's a shame you got this ass as your first view of canada :(

(P.s i will shortly be immigrating to canada! woo!)
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 11:51, closed)

Congrats!
on emigration :D I moved to Norway myself over a year ago and I've not regretted a thing!

Despite my irrational fear of the canadian accent I have a few canadian friends who either put on a different accent or just talk with me on msn. It's a weird quirk but mostly harmless :)
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 11:58, closed)

Is it just me
or do all Richards cheat? That was the name of a twunty ex of mine who thought he was God's gift. Clicked in sympathy :( just a shame you couldn't move all his stuff to a hotel or something during the day and tell him you'd meet him there at a certain time, then not show ;)
( Maladicta, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 12:19, closed)

Theorum of Richardis (or Richardicks whichever)
Oo somebody else with the Richard Theory! I completely agree.. Frightening isn't it really.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 12:39, closed)