X Marks the Spot
As a dashing young undergraduate during the heady days of Britpop, one of my coursemates (let's call him Dan, for that is not his name) and I went on a placement to a major US-based tech company that had two sets offices in our town. I was based in one office, Dan the other. Dan was a well-meaning chap, but a bit dim, and it's fair to say that the team was assigned to never really warmed to him.

One day a person in the team I was in got an email from Dan.

"Oi, Spaceship. What's Dan's middle name?".

I had no idea and told her as much, but was to curious to know why she wanted to know.

"Well, it's just that his email address is [email protected], and I was wondering what the 'X' stood for."

A quick survey of all the people in the team revealed that the only name we could think of beginning with 'X' was Xavier, which seemed unlikely given the prosaic nature of the rest of his name. Everybody was curious, so it was decided that I, as the person that knew him best, would be the person to call him up and ask, while the others listened in on speaker phone.

"Hi, Dan, it's Spaceship. This is a bit of an odd question, but what's your middlename?"

"Erm... I don't have one." I figure he's maybe a bit embarrassed, so I press on as gently as I can...

"But your email address has an 'X' for the inital?"

"Yeah, when I was filling out the personal details form when I joined, I put a cross in the section for middlename because I don't have one..."

That's as far as the conversation went before we all dissolved into laughter and he hung-up.
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:23, 4 replies)

A Dan Bonus
During the same placement Dan phoned me up once in a bit of a panic because the printer in his office had ran out of paper and he didn't know what to do.

No, really.

Relations with the his team had reached such a low point that he was too nervous to ask any of them what to do. To underline just how daft he is, we were doing a Computer Science course. And he couldn't handle a printer out of paper.

I told him not to panic, and that I'd fax over as many blank sheets of paper as he needed to his office.

"Phew, that's a good idea, Spaceship! Cheers, mate!"

There are not enough facepalms in the world.
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:30, closed)

The real dimwit is the company's mail administrator, surely?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 20:08, closed)

Maybe it could be...
...that with you two working at a major US-based tech company, that there could be more than one Dan Dimwit with no middle name?

Because the company I work for has about ten thousand employees each with an email address and accidently John Jackson seems to be a rather common name in the company. Also these Johns not having a middle name is apparently common too.

Thus to destigusish between the johns they gave them an obscure initial in their emails.

eg. [email protected] (original John), [email protected] (second John), [email protected] (fourth John)...
(fearsome mumbler is shit at telling stories, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 20:37, closed)

And then
you've got the Jack Johnson's to deal with.
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 22:32, closed)