Danny
First posting ever, be gentle...Ignorance in the context of "completely ignorant of how the world actually works, and what anything actually is".

Wavy lines back to about 1980, when we were 16~~~~~~~~~

Me and my pals Dave, Tom and Paddy were off camping for the weekend in deepest darkest Yorkshire, in a field up near Grassington. Much fun, especially waking up piss-wet through at the lowest part of the tent where it leaked during the night, but fun indeed. And Paddy meeting Bendy Brenda was quite amusing also. Anyhoo, we were joined by Paddy's brother Danny, and his mate Horlicks (who only ever ate seeds. Strange chap).
Now, Danny was a lovely feller, friendly, eager to please, and thick as twelve toilet seats nailed together. Examples of "Derr" included ...

Walking through the gorgeous Yorkshire Dales, and announcing with heartfelt sincerity "This is a real field, this is".

Believing that we might have been trespassing (on a public bridleway), advising us what to do should anyone coming along actually see us "Just tell 'em we're looking for Jim". Nope, none of us has ever known anyone called Jim.

Describing his recent adventure visiting North Wales instead of meeting his pals as arranged in Blackpool ...
"Well, I were at the station and the train came in and I thought it were going to Blackpool."
"So, Danny, what did it say on the destination notice on the board on the front of the train? "
"Dunno, something in Welsh"
"So why did you get on it? "
"'Cos I thought it were Welsh for Blackpool".

Ah me, happy days. He married Dave's sister in law in the end. Bless.
(WaveyDavey, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 19:18, 4 replies)

This is good.
You can have a welcoming click.

(Actually, it's not technically your first, is it?)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 21:26, closed)

Haha, clicked :)
Mainly for "I thought it was Welsh for Blackpool" :D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 23:18, closed)

That is a gem.

(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:13, closed)

Heh
"As thick as twelve toilet seats nailed together"

Heh!
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:01, closed)