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This is a question Stupid Tourists

What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard a tourist say? Ever heard an American talking about visiting "Scotchland, England", or (and this one is actually real) a Japanese couple talking about the correct way to say Clapham is actually Clatham, as "ph" sounds are pronounced "th". Which has a certain logic really. UPDATE: Please, no more Loogabarooga stories. It's getting like, "and I opened my eyes and my mum had left me a cup of tea!"

(, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 16:31)
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Spain
I was in spain, and not impressed with the local food, I'd bought some bread and peanut butter.

After getting back to the hotel and realizing it's impossible to spread with your finger, I decided to head back into town for a spreading implement.

All I could find was sodding tourist shops, so I thought maybe they'd have a crappy touristy knife & fork set or something.

A few minutes after speeking slow english and getting nowhere, I decided to mime what I wanted.

It seems the shopkeeper got upset about me shouting "knife, knife" and making a stabbing motion toward him, and chased me out of the shop with a knife too big to get into the jar.

Anyway, I found that a 19 yr old (as I was then) can run faster then a middle aged fat shopkeeper, and ruffled crisps spread PB kind of okay.
(, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 6:59, Reply)

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