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This is a question Stupid Tourists

What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard a tourist say? Ever heard an American talking about visiting "Scotchland, England", or (and this one is actually real) a Japanese couple talking about the correct way to say Clapham is actually Clatham, as "ph" sounds are pronounced "th". Which has a certain logic really. UPDATE: Please, no more Loogabarooga stories. It's getting like, "and I opened my eyes and my mum had left me a cup of tea!"

(, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 16:31)
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Over here in the Fatherland
I once had the pleasure of hearing an English girl, while playing cards, try to ask a German lad if he was good at shuffling the deck.

Unfortunately, she didn't know the German for shuffle, but then she had the epiphany that shuffle is English slang for wank so why not in German? She asks the guy in perfect German: Can you wank well?
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A German friend once had a Dutch boyfriend. Your man spoke reasonable German and, as Dutch and German are pretty similar, you can sometimes guess words you don't know. So, mum asks, "what would you like for dinner?", and not knowing what poultry is in German, he guessed. It's "gevogelte" in Dutch, so he says, "Was gevögeltes", meaning "something that's been fucked."
(, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 14:24, Reply)

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