Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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A kick up the arse is always funnyI'm the youngest parent at my kids school, also have tattoos and piercings, a regional accent and live in a council house so am therefore regarded with a mixture of suspicion and nervousness.So it did not go down well when after a particularily trying walk to school I aimed a light but well placed kick to my 3 year old sons backside. I'm not a smacker by nature but this was a comedy punishment to illustrate my annoyance
Cue my son playing to the whole fucking gallery, falling full pelt onto the tarmac and howling his little red faced head off. Bout a million concerned mothers with nothing better to do appeared from nowhere with tissues and sympathy
John Lewis shopping Slack wearing People carrier driving twat :-"Oh, poor little thing What happened?"
Me:- "oh I just kicked him up the arse, he'll be fine!"
John Lewis shopping Slack wearing People carrier driving twat:- (walking away muttering to equally old fussy mate)
Me:- (looks round nervously for social services SWAT team to appear)
My son survived and i think learnt a valuable lesson about the relationship between humour and violence
(, Fri 17 Aug 2007, 12:39, Reply)
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