Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
« Go Back
Not as bad as some on here, but bad for a 4 year oldWhen I was little, my twin sister and I wouldn't go to sleep. You know, normal kid stuff. So what does my mom do?
She makes up a scary detective.
Yep, that's right. She tells us about a detective named Dan who will come and arrest us if we don't go to sleep. If we refused still, she would pick up the phone and 'call' Dan. We would beg and plead for her to not call him. I remember being TERRIFIED of Detective Dan. I had even conjured up a picture of him. Big black sunglasses, a necklace, sandy blonde hair, a slight 5 o'clock shadow, and a tan detective coat. Everytime we made a fuss about going to sleep, she'd be like, "Dannnn?" and we would jet off to bed instantly. Dan kept on for a few years until we moved. DUN DUN DUNNNN. This is where it gets interesting. My sister and I both figured out that when we moved, Dan would stay where we were. That was the end of that nonsense! :)
Now, my dad. Around the Dan era, we had a waterbed. This said waterbed got a small hole and my dad had to patch it. To keep us away from the wet patch thing, my dad decides to tell us that if we touched it martians would come out and kill us. :( Result: Scared to go to bed and get killed by martians and scared to NOT go to bed for fear of being arrested.
Length? Ask Dan. Only he knows what was under the trenchcoat.
(, Tue 21 Aug 2007, 9:56, Reply)
« Go Back