Eejit
My first time in Ireland, 5 or 6 of us altogether. We'd arrived in the pitch dark, so apart from knowing I was in a rented cottage in a fairly rural area, I had little idea of my surroundings.

We settled in, lit the fire, got some tunes on, let the Jamesons flow.

I open the steamed-over window, trying to let a bit of the "cig" smoke out, and a few minutes later, hear a low, but fairly loud groaning noise.

I put it down to the music and the "cigs", but a few minutes later, there it is again, a guttural, deep moan, coming from outside.

My heart racing, I push open the window, and there on the ground below, sat staring up at me, is one of the smallest dogs I've ever seen, maybe a Jack Russell, that sort of size. "Hello little feller" says I, chuckling at my cowardice.

"MMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRR!!!!!"

FUCK! (Jumps out of skin).

About ten yards behind the world's smallest dog, is a fucking huge black cow, well camouflaged against the night. Being a stoned idiot, it was the last thing I was expecting, despite the area having more cows than people by about 1000:1. Even the dog laughed at me.
(Udidin is chuffed to have made the newsletter, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)