Well, that taught 'emSammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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Don't be a wankerMany years ago when I was an embryo, we had a boozy party at friends house – guys, gals, alcyhole and two spare bedrooms for possible shagging/snogging. We had managed to acquire a young lady whom the occupant of said house fancied (one of the conditions of using his house for party). He proceeded to get seriously pissed and retired to one of the bedrooms for a bit of slap & tickle with young lady. Problem is he gets a bit obnoxious and over confident when he’s mashed. Young lady actually fancied another guy at party & guy fancied girl. As ‘occupant’ reappeared every 20 minutes to get another drink/report on his progress with young lady to all and sundry – other guy is getting seriously pissed off. So are we all. So we hatch plan. Next time he comes out we’ll get him to sit down and drink a strong coffee. He’s obviously too pissed to shag, so we’ll sober him up a bit – it’s for his own good…….right.
Big cup – quarter filled with black coffee – topped up with bourbon, scotch, southern comfort. We told him he had to skoll it and as it was really strong and sugary it would be best to hold his nose whilst doing it. Three gulps in, he’s querying strange taste. We tell him he’s too pissed and he’s imagining things. Finishes coffee. Stands up. Sits down again. Wanders off outside. Gone for 10 mins. Somebody goes outside. He’s passed out on back lawn. Leave him there. Other guy gets in room with young lady. General snogging happens. He dates her for two weeks – apparently she has a personal hygiene problem. Breaks off with her. We never see her again.
This happened over 25 years ago, and we still talk about it – ‘occupant’ friend still doesn’t believe he was that much of a wanker, and still can’t believe he actually drank so much and still survived. Lesson learned – he treated women with more respect and actually landed a lovely lady. Still drinks too much though, and becomes obnoxious – if he gets to that point we offer him a strong black coffee – he always refuses.
Funny that.
Yay, first post on this board.
I don’t have any length, just depth.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2007, 3:13, Reply)
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