Sheet stealer gets a kicking
Many moons ago I went on a holiday arranged through my school to somewhere in the north (it could have been near Sheffield, I'm not sure, the North all looks the same to me) where you stay in one of those dorm type arrangements that all kids stay in at some point in the school life.

I'd been on the same holiday a few years before but by now my brother an sister were in the same school as me and we could all go together, a good excuse to get away from home for a week.

We got to our room and unpacked, chose beds and put sheets and pillow cases and whatnot on them and went downstairs for the welcome meeting. The kids in the room I was in were all quite annoying and talked until late at night keeping everyone up. Every morning I would get up, make my bed and head down for breakfast and when I'd come back upstairs I'd find me bed sheets pulled off the bed and all over the floor. Not wanting to cause trouble I duly made my bed again and headed out for badminton or basketball or swimming or whatever mind numbing 'fun' had been arranged for us.

And every time I came back to the room my sheets were on the floor and stupid annoying kids were giggling in the corner.

This went on for about three days before I finally went over the edge. I'd just finished remaking my bed for the umpteenth time when one of the kids who were still in the room thought it would be funny to pull the sheets off again while I was stood there.

He grabbed one corner of the duvet and pulled while I had the other corner in my hand. He yanked the quilt away and threw it on the floor and ran back to his bed tittering like a twat.

"That's it!!" thought I (with two exclamation marks) "I've had enough..." and chased him to the corner of the room and promptly floored him with one punch. While he was lying on the floor I put the boot in as well punctuating each kick with words.

"Don't... [kick] do... [kick] that... [kick kick] again!" As he looked up at me with tears in his eyes I felt a smug sense of satisfaction that he wouldn't mess with me again and he didn't. In fact I got a reputation after that for the rest of the week away as a bit of a nutter, which was nice.

The really shameful thing though is that this kid, along with the rest in the dorm, was in my brother's year at school which means that while I was about 16 he must have been only 13. Still, nothing more satisfying than giving a snotty 13 year old a good kicking, shame I can't get away with it now.
( Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 29 Apr 2007, 10:45, Reply)