I used to have a friend named Jeremy, who was crazy.
We called him Crazy Jeremy. One day, Jeremy and I walked from my house to the nearest convenience store, which was about 2 miles away. He got a Coke out of the cooler, a bag of doritos, several magazines, a bag of gummy bears, and walked up to the counter where he asked for a pack of cigs. Jeremy then pulled out his checkbook and started writing out a check. Remember the scene in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure where he gets in the truck with Large Marge? The cashier bore a striking resemblance to Large Marge, only 20 years younger. She looked Jeremy up, then down, then up again, and informed him in mostly sign language and grunts that checks were not acceptable. Jeremy protested, but she would not budge on the subject. He asked if he could leave his items at the counter while he went to the bank to make a withdrawal, and was given a curt no in response. Seeing that the cashier was being particularly unreasonable, and hoping to diffuse any situation that was about to erupt, I offered to stay behind while he walked across the street to the bank.

He returned 5 minutes later and without a single word to anyone, went straight into the bathroom. After a few minutes, he came back out with something wrapped up in a paper towel, and headed for the counter. Sensing he was now ready to pay for his purchases, which I was still guarding, I met him at the counter just in time to see him dump the contents of his paper towel on the counter: ten individually balled-up $1 bills. The cashier gave Jeremy an annoyed look, which quickly disappeared when she picked up the first bill and uncrumpled it to reveal a distinct brown streak. The cashier, now shocked and appalled enough to have forgotten whatever originally put her in a bad mood, squealed like the proverbial little girl and dropped the bill onto the counter. "I CAN'T ACCEPT THAT!", she yelled in a voice seemingly too high-pitched to be her own. Jeremy simply smiled and replied calmly, "See the small print there, where it says 'This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private'? That means that by law, you HAVE to accept it. And you can keep the change." We both turned and walked out, trying hard to disguise our giggles. He later admitted to me that, while not every note had been painted in brown, every one had taken a joy ride across his brown starfish, and that the first two or three were fairly well soaked with sweat. He'd first thought about just doing one and handing them to her in a stack, but then decided to do each individually and crumple them up to maximize the amount of handling required by the cashier.
(WillF http://www.flickr.com/photos/silverfischdotnet/, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 0:41, 17 replies)

*stern look of disapproval*
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 0:58, closed)

Tell your friend:
Bank notes are only legal tender for debts. Until the shopkeep gives you your stuff there isn't a debt, and she has the right to tell your friend to get knotted.
( jonbob loves you, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 3:22, closed)

Solid point
But the twunt of a cashier didn't know that at the time.
(WillF http://www.flickr.com/photos/silverfischdotnet/, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 5:21, closed)

must admit
I found the contamination of the money with fecal matter more worrying than the misapprehension of cash laws.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 7:22, closed)

SO how would that work in practice?
So anyone can refuse legal tender as payment? I must be missing something here.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 7:52, closed)

So, why did you call him Crazy Jeremy...?

( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:08, closed)

Good question,
probably best answered in a different QOTW.
(WillF http://www.flickr.com/photos/silverfischdotnet/, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:13, closed)

A jobsworth cashier is hardly the 'man'
hehehe no one's keeping me from my doritos.
*poops on money*
hehehehehe

what a fucking tool
(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:55, closed)

Haha oh that Crazy Jeremy and his crazy chequebook.
Oh that Crazy Jeremy. Haha. I can't stop laughing. They wouldn't accept the cheque, even Crazy Jeremy's crazy chequebook, and in fact a lot of shops don't. I'm not even sure there is a shop that still accepts cheques anymore. But I'm rambling now.

I'm still laughing obviously at Crazy Jeremy and his crazy antics, and when his crazy cheque wasn't accepted the only logical course of action, baring in mind it's not the cashier that is at fault here, since she's just following the company policy, decides to give her shit-covered cash. CRAZY shit-covered cash. How delightfully crazy. Yes you really won the day in the name of truth, honour, justice and crazy chequebooks. How dare the cashier, through no option of her own, disallow the crazy cheque? Crazy cheques are worth more than regular cheques as well. All this would've been resolved a lot easily and less pooey if she just rallied against her company's policy, accepted the cheque, lost her job and allowed you and Crazy Jeremy on your merry way with your assortment of essentials. What a bitch. Not a crazy bitch though. She is not good enough to be deemed crazy. Only Crazy Jeremy can do that, the god like figure that he is.

So, oh yes I'm laughing throughout by the way, there you go. Such unadulterated craziness. You disregard the public order act and bounce around the "hur hur hur legal tender in poo is still legal tender hur hur hur" legal loophole and win the day. Well done you and crazy Crazy Jeremy.

Assuming this actually happened of course. Crazy!
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:26, closed)

I used to work in a bookshop.
On one occasion, a homeless chap came in & asked if I could change up some coins to a £10 note. It wasn't until he dropped them into my cupped hands that I noticed they were covered in shit.
I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Not even a 'jobsworth' who dares not to accept cheques, as per store policy.
(In short: Jeremy sounds like a right cunt).
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:37, closed)

you won't accept this freshly minted guinea for these pringles and a copy of NUTS? Well I've never heard of such a thing!
*monocle falls out*
*poops everywhere*
(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:56, closed)

oh and don't forget: she was fat!

(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:56, closed)

*click*
(Though I'm not sure why, given that it's only a reply...)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:08, closed)

Is Jeremy a horse?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:32, closed)

^

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:36, closed)

I fear that he might be... an American!

( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:58, closed)

Nah - can't be
Can't be true, because he claims to have walked 2 miles - no septic has ever done that. Ever.
(3_on_a_meathook has room for one more., Sat 19 Jun 2010, 10:44, closed)