kidney stone
A guy I used to work with had been suffering with a kidney stone for a couple of months - really gave him some agro down his ones side.

One day he came in and started to tell me how he had finally gotten rid of it - I was stupid to ask how. He says the evening before it must have moved and finally blocked his piss pipes. Rang the doctor who told him not to worry, just keep drinking lots of water to help 'ease it along'. He said an hour later he was in tears. Desperate to go but only a mild dribble of bloody urine. Finally he said he could take no more - its the final push lads!

After an initial spurt the flow suddenly stopped abruptly. The stone had got trapped near the end of his old chap. The trouble was there was now about 5 pints of fluid all pressing into his old boy at such force it started expanding...and expanding. He said at the moment it resembled a rugby ball (seriously!) he started screaming at which point his wife came rushing in to see what the problem was. The stone now tore out of the end with a gush of blood and urine, ricocheted off the toilet and whistled past his wifes face. He was left in a ball on the toilet floor sobbing with relief and a now somewhat shrivelled member.
I don't know what my face must have looked like, but I was wincing and sitting cross legged. He then produced a bag and asked if i'd like to see it - I left the room at this point.
(the noggin causes laxative effects, Thu 6 Sep 2007, 12:22, Reply)