My most treasured possessionWhat's your most treasured possession? What would you rescue from a fire (be it for sentimental or purely financial reasons)?
My Great-Uncle left me his visitors book which along with boring people like the Queen and Harold Wilson has Spike Milligan's signature in it. It's all loopy.
Either that or my Grandfather's swords.
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chthonic, Thu 8 May 2008, 12:38)
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First anal experienceA lot of people have posted about their most treasured memories so I thought I'd post one of mine. It was when I first tried something anal.
One day while reading about men's health, I read something about the prostrate. I came to the conclusion that this was an alternate means of sexual stimulation for men than penile stimulation. I was intrigued, but at the same time, the thought of sticking anything up my bum, be it a finger, another man's willy or even some woman's strap-on did not appeal to me. But then, I had a brainwave. Naturally, poo comes out the bottom, but what if I make a designer-turd that's specially designed to rub against my prostrate. It would be very solid, with a softer coating on the outside. If I held in the solid turd, it would be widened by amassing a less solid turd to the sides.
The following day, I set to work. For breakfast, I ate an entire box of bran-flakes, a loaf of bread and six apples. For lunch, I went to a fast-food place that had an "all you can eat" offer. By now, I was starting to need a crap, but knew that if I held on, I'd get the desired effect. By dinnertime, my bowels were beginning to feel heavy. To add icing to the cake, I ate a chicken vindaloo.
When it was nearly bedtime, I moved around a bit. I felt something I had never felt before. The rough insides of the core of my super-poo were rubbing against my prostrate while the softer coating was pushing the rougher parts in the right place. After experimenting with different bodily contortions, I found the one that was just right for my current bum-recipe. By bending my pelvis, I found the sweet spot. It would send me into heaven every time I made that special pelvic movement.
While I badly needed the toilet, the stimulation was causing me such great pleasure that I went straight to bed. Further experimentation found the best sleeping position to give me my newly found ecstasy. I kept this up for some time, but inevitably, the urge to go for a crap overcame me.
So I got up and went. However, once my new bum-baby started to move, I felt yet another feeling I had never felt before. As it was coming out, the textured turd was giving my prostate the time of its life. I just had a very big smile of both relief and pleasure. The expression on my face must have been more akin to a cartoon character than a human. The crap seemed to perpetually go on for a long time. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, but I tried to slow down the exiting. Towards the end, the heat of the poo vindaloo was giving my ringpiece a pleasant sensation of fiery heat. Normally, this would be a bit painful but because I was so aroused, it felt pleasurable. There were so many new sensations that I didn’t even think about touching myself, yet I managed to cum. I didn’t remember cumming, but the evidence was clearly there. Gradually, my mind was becoming more and more open to alternate means of anal stimulation. With a warm afterglow from both the vindaloo and my feeling of wellbeing, I went back to bed very content. And that was my most treasured po session.
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mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 9 May 2008, 20:45,
14 replies)
*spangs*(, Fri 9 May 2008, 21:39, closed)
Oh dear godNever before have I read something that made me laugh and want to throw up in equal measure.
(, Fri 9 May 2008, 21:48, closed)
...*gives a Dope Slap*
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The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 9 May 2008, 21:50,
closed)
Possiblythe best answer for this QOTW so far.
(, Fri 9 May 2008, 21:56, closed)
The best pun everjeez that was gross.
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flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 9 May 2008, 21:57,
closed)
Yes!Well done that man!!!
(, Fri 9 May 2008, 22:02, closed)
This storywas absolutely 'shit'!!!
And I loved it.
(, Sat 10 May 2008, 1:25, closed)
JeezI feel dirty replying to this. Top marks.
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enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 10 May 2008, 9:56,
closed)
How many of you lotjust went out and bought Bran Flakes?
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Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 10 May 2008, 11:53,
closed)
Mr MisterSpakkamanYou are a bad bad man and must not be let near a keyboard again.
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girlinthehole, Sat 10 May 2008, 12:13,
closed)
Oh god damn it...just the last line, that damn last line.
(, Sat 10 May 2008, 14:46, closed)
Bob MonkhouseYou are a sick and twisted person and you deserve a click of sufficient strength to damage my mouse. :) Excellent pun!
(, Sat 10 May 2008, 15:18, closed)
As Ive said many a time before......everyone loves a story about poo.
Plus anything entitled 'my first anal' deserves to be read.
(, Sat 10 May 2008, 19:46, closed)
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