Crashing at yer Aunt's house and not telling her
Now then - when I were a mere 18 year old stripling we moved house to a small village, about 5 miles down the road from the town where I went to school. Now the journey was easily do-able by bus in the middle of the day, so still attending the same school was not a problem.

However: this was the era of the 18th birthday party: it seemed like 2 out of every 3 weekends would be someones 18th birthday party, and I was rapidly acquiring my life-long love of getting shitfaced. The problem always was that none of MY relatves would stay up until 3 in the morning to give pissed up 18 year olds a lift home - can't think why - and our new house was just too far away to cadge a lift back too off've someone else's folks.

The solution was brilliant in it's simplicity; I would just cadge a lift back to the housing estate where my Aunt lived, which as smack in the school's catchment area: in fact we had lived there ourselves until we moved out and I still had a key and in fact an entire room was ready for me to crash in at any time. It being in the middle of the school's area there was ALWAYS someone's elders I could scab a ride back with.

So that's what I did on the fine evening where this story unfolds: when out, got hideously rancid with alcohol and got a lift back to the Aunt's.

The one small flaw in my plan was that I had forgot to tell them I was crashing there that night.... - so picture the scene: me, too pissed to know what direction to fart in: I must've took half an hour to open the fecking door, with all the usual muttered "c'mon ya little bastid"... - then I finally owrk out the secrets of Mr Yale and fall into the house. Then I got the obligatory 30 second puke warning and staggered to the downstairs bog and proceeded to empty my stomach contents out with much piteous howling and wailing.

At which point the door to the bog is flung open by my aunt and uncle, stark bollock naked, holding a carving knife, saying something like "c'mon then ya puking burglaring wanker!!" And they were not a pretty sight: we looked each other up and down and made the silent pact that This Would Never Be Spoken Of Again and they left...

I then proceeded to laugh like a drain for about 3 days!
(brumguvnor www.twitter.com/brumguvnor, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:27, Reply)