As a teacher...
I deal with only the most petty of vandalism. Our school clings to the fringes of a frightfully middle class town, and so our clientele are fairly well behaved as a rule. However, the lure of producing a crudely drawn member on any available surface is a universal one, and even the most straight-laced of children can only hold out for so long.

It was last term when I spotted it, right near the end of the school year. It was proudly displayed on a year 9's book: slap bang on the front cover of his book. A magnificent specimen of genital anatomy, a vision in black marker pen, engorging and enriching the whole page. Truly, this thing was superb. However, it did pose somewhat of a dilemma for me.

As a teacher, the urge to chastise was strong: the wretched child had vandalised his book, and should be punished. As a human being (and b3tan), the urge to encourage this behaviour was almost as strong. How to reconcile these two opposing forces in the universe?

Simple: I am a science teacher.
"You will label that half-finished... *cough*... "diagram", and label it properly, using scientific vocabulary. You will not make any mistakes on it, and you will complete it for homework. If you do make any mistakes, I will send the whole diagram home in an envelope for your Mum to correct for you."

It was the best piece of work he produced all year. I hope he treasures it.
(Serotonicity was a naughty boy on..., Sun 10 Oct 2010, 23:07, 3 replies)

Five dollars says that the child
will be re-enacting this scenario with prostitutes for the rest of their life.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 1:28, closed)

You may have my first click of this week
excellent work.
(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:14, closed)

Have a well-earned click.

(anvil, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:57, closed)