I hasten to prefix this with a big NOT ME BUT A FRIEND
a rather portly chap [think John Candy in Uncle Buck]. He was very shy and still a virgin at 22. In university he becomes *friends* with this slightly removed, shy and studious girl. Their dating is bland and pure until one night they go to the infamous Sankey's in Manchester.

This night they throw caution to the wind and decide to test ecstacy [the drug, not the emotion of pleasure - and i add i do not condone their choice].

Having danced in a fury until the wee hours they returned to his place at about 6am. All loved up they decided to offer themselves to each other. What happened next is the stuff of legends;
Her on top, he enters her and starts thrusting away. Unfortunately they both blacked out and the experience was somewhat limited. The next afternoon when he awakes my friend awakes to find the remains of his girlfriends virginity staining his crotch, as well as her fecal matter

Yes, she had shite herself. On top of him. She had done the chivalrous thing and fled. So, covered in a mix of blood, sweat and shite he proceeds to stand up out of bed only to slip in the mess and knock himself out on the bedside table. His appearance in the doorway, shit stained and covered in blood [his and hers now] , I hate to admit provoked only tears of mirth. He recounted the story and by the time we had him washed off and in the emergency room for stitches his story was already enshrined in infamy.

His come down was not pleasant
(monkeyseemonkeydo, Thu 10 Mar 2005, 23:07, Reply)