My Worst VomitWe all love a drink. Some of us love them so much they want to see them again on the way out of their mouths. I once got caught by surprise by the boozy sickness while chatting to some friends in my kitchen. Quick as a flash I grabbed a nearby pan and chundered away merrily in it. Realising it was probably time for bed I staggered off to my room. Unfortunately, my co-ordination failed just as I reached the landing and I somersaulted down the entire flight of stairs with my saucepan full of vomit. Beat that!
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chthonic, Thu 19 Aug 2004, 21:00)
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A royal visitEarly nineties, en route to the pub. My friends and I notice swarms of biddies and police crowding a street, and, after questioning several of the oldies we realise Princess Diana is opening up some medical centre in an hours time. A friend has a great idea to streak in front of her as she arrives, so we go to the pub for dutch courage. Many shorts later and we're pressed against the barriers as a limo appears, and out steps Diana. The promised streaker suddenly gets stage fright and asks if i'll do it, to which I reply forcibly in the negative. In response, he replies forcibly with an upper cut to my kidneys. I gag in response, and then regurgitate a guiness and carrot medley all over several old ladies and the path of the Princess, who gets escorted round the stinking puddle. I swear she gave me a really evil look. And a sweet old lady called me a wanker with such venom she nearly dislodged her dentures.
(, Fri 20 Aug 2004, 11:05, Reply)
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