I'll get my coat
'twas A-Level results day and many of us had stayed in the city from the morning to get wrecked throughout the day. Growing up in the north east has its benefits when it comes to drinking, as we were already seasoned pros when it came to this area. Unfortunately, the lady behind the bar who had just seen us consume 25 shots between 5 of us then ask for another round, didn't believe us and we were marched out the bar to "go sort ourselves out". It seemed at this point the rush of fresh air was too much for some and it ended up being just me and my mate, who turned out to be well and truly plastered.

I've never, ever seen him as bad to this day, but he was intent in his drunken ways to continue. Alas, with getting refused entry to every remaining bar, it wasn't to be and after much effort I carried his rag-doll body to the bus stop where he completely lost it - head rolling side to side, noises, all that sort of stuff. "I'm gonna be sick" he kept chuntering, "no, you're not" was my reply, to which he didn't. Our bus finally arrives and the driver gave us what can only be described as a look of utter disgust and says "if he throws up, you're off". So, I prop my mate up, take one step onto the bus and, who'd have guessed, he voids the contents of his bowels all over the entrance. I didn't even try do get out of it, simply turned around, dumped him onto the bench and called his parents (who heartily pissed themselves laughing at the situation).

To the people on that bus, I am so sorry, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
( thyrf as in turf, but not, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 23:54, 2 replies)

bowels?
he shat on the entrance of the bus?
(happyFinish, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 6:33, closed)

Bowels!!! 0_0
I think (hope) that you mean stomach. Otherwise you story takes a rather suprising scatalogical turn.
( The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:19, closed)