My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
(
rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
« Go Back
Man's best friend.Last summer, I went for a drink with a friend who I had a slight crush on (ok, so I was very into her, but it looked like no dice, so...). We went to a couple of bars, me trying to appear cool and suave in order to keep alive what little hope I had of pulling her, while she sipped her drink quietly. Casual chat ensues until...
Her: I once walked in on my ex wanking a dog.
Me: What the fuck!?! Etc. etc. (Takes calming gulp of beer)
Her: It's ok, he didn't finish it off.
Me: Pffffffffffffffffffffft! (Beer leaves mouth, finds it's way, via the gift of uncontrollable reflex gobbing, onto my companion's lap.)
Strangely, that wasn't the end of the night. Actually, I suppose it's not so strange when you consider that the reason she broke up with her ex wasn't anything to do with his prediliction for canine frottage.
Apologies for length (somehow, an appropriate apology for this question, fnar fnar).
(, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 18:15, Reply)
« Go Back