My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
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rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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I'm never going to live this downeven though it doesn't involve my wanking, but that of, ah, up to 2 others...
Went to my parents' place for a few days, went out drinking with an old mate, and then in bed, at 4am, drunk and horny, decided to send my s/o (who's back at home) a filthy text message for his enjoyment. Of course, being pissed I sent it to the wrong number - the first name in my phone book being Adam, one of my boyfriend's best mates, and a lovely bloke. The sheer horror of the slow realisation that dawned on me as I stared hopelessly at the words "Message Sent". Next time I saw him he pissed himself laughing and quoted my lyrical prose back at me, although he said he had to delete the message so his girlfriend wouldn't see it. To be fair, I got off quite lightly...
To fully understand how awful this was, you probably need to understand that the message started (thank fuck I don't remember all of it) with "I want to feast on your beautiful cock, tongue its massive throbbing splendour and let its sweet gift shower me..."
And that, children, is why 'dad' doesn't begin with A.
(, Thu 3 Jun 2004, 15:13, Reply)
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