I've never really been in a position to waste much money, so in that sense I'm fortunate. I have exactly zero sympathy for people who've had shit-loads of money and just wasted it...if your business goes belly-up, or if you've been conned out of your life's savings by someone who pretended to love you and lied to you about being terminally ill, or if you've lost your house through circumstances beyond your control, then I have the utmost sympathy. But millionaires who lose their money, just because they can't keep track of it, make me sick. I could mention one in particular, but his money wastage is the LEAST of his sins, and shows you that Karma exists in some form, even if in some cases it's only a token gesture.

I could moan about all the money I've wasted on ex-girlfriends, but at the time it seemed like a good idea, I got enjoyment out of it (even if only in a limited capacity - like stopping them moaning about something for two minutes!), and it was part of being a good boyfriend - not a substitute for it. I'd rather get back the time and stress that was spent on my exes, thank you very much, not any money spent. The best money I ever spent was sending the love of my life a dozen long-stem red roses to her workplace for her birthday, and seeing how happy it made her (and, in regard to her, I'd just take the stress away, and have more time with her). I really do hate seeing women cry, but when it's out of happiness that you triggered, instead of sadness of any kind...well, it's the best feeling I've ever had. 12 years ago, that was, and it still brings a smile to my face.

So, although most people would consider me bitter over each of my exes for one reason or another (or plenty), I would never complain about the money I spent on them.

But wasting money at the pictures? Fucking hell, it pisses me off. And, again, it's not really the money wasted that gets to me - even if I'm skint at the time - it's the time wasted. And feeling duped by a trailer or a review, or even a recommendation.

Films aren't my main thing - music is. I can talk for hours and hours and motherfucking HOURS about the music that I love, but films are just there for entertainment, in my view. If I want mental stimulation, I'll read a book - there's no way I could sit through a 3-hour period melodrama about some obscure Russian poet who only Oxbridge students, or those wankers on those review shows, have ever heard of. But give me a mental, ridiculously implausible action film with loads of great stunts and insane violent fight-scenes, and I'm a happy man. You know, the kind of films where you just check your brains in at the door (The A-Team is a perfect example).

So when I spend good money, and a couple of hours, watching a film at the cinema, I expect it to be entertaining, even if it's a load of nonsense. But I can watch something less action-packed if I'm interested by the subject matter.

Which brings me onto
I've always been interested in space, planets, astronomy, and everything of that nature, so I was eager to see the film when my female friend suggested going to see it (I didn't think anyone would want to go with me). I knew it was based on a true story, and I knew most of the elements of said story, so I thought I knew how it would turn out.

Well, when I'd heard people say that they saw a film so bad that they actually walked out before it ended, I never got it. I could never see myself doing it. Until Apollo 13, that is

And for anyone still awake after reading this so far, I might as well tell you about when I saw the He-Man film back in the '80s. Yes, I know it was actually called Masters Of The Universe (as was the excellent cartoon that it was supposedly based on), and my sister and her husband (still her fiancée at that point) paid for me to get in, but they wasted their money.

You see, I was a massive He-Man fan, and a 7-year-old boy when the film was released. My oldest sister had an idea that, for all the world, must have seemed like a good one at the time - she'd take me to see the film of my favourite cartoon. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, I sat there and commented on the first 10 or so things that the film had got wrong, but then I just gave up. There were far too many things to count. But, boy, all I did after we got outside was gripe and bitch and moan about what they'd got wrong, what they'd changed (which was pretty much all of it), and how I could have done so much better. I've always had a pretty good vocabulary, even when I was 7yrs old, but I'm sure I developed half of my current vocabulary in the process of slagging that film off.

Seriously, I just didn't shut up (a trait you're probably finding equally annoying right now, so apologies). Not when we got in the car. Not when we went to McDonald's afterwards. Not when we got back in the car to go to my sister's boyfriend's house (I think we all went back to watch a video, possibly in a vain attempt to stop me complaining). Not when we got there. And not even when my sister angrily rolled her eyes, and her boyfriend had finally had enough of my incessant fucking whining, and said "Right, you're going home" before they bundled me into his car and he put the pedal to the metal.

I didn't even shut up on the journey back home. (And I wondered why that sister never took me to the pictures again!) Or to my mum when I got there. I didn't shut up about how bad it was for at least a week, I swear. Looking back on it now, I think it's an O.K. film in its own right, but as an adaptation of the beautifully-made cartoon that I held so very dear to my heart, it sucked major donkey cock.

I never got Star Wars, but I know most B3tans are massive fans (going by the image challenge entries, anyway). So I'm sure most of you are aware of the legendary YouTube video where an avid Star Wars fan rips The Phantom Menace to many tiny pieces, and the video is actually much longer than the film itself. Well, I made this guy look like a rank amateur.

When my second-oldest sister (I have 3) took me to see Batman Returns five years later, and I thought it was a major disappointment, I just kept my mouth shut and thanked her for taking me to see it. She later told my mum how ungrateful I'd seemed (possibly in confidence, so as to not make me feel bad, but my mum has never had any such reservations), and my mum then told me. Man, I felt like such a cunt. From that moment to this very day, I always make sure that I thank somebody profusely when they do something for me, letting them know how grateful I am - I must piss people off with that, surely - because for some people, saying thank you and meaning it just isn't enough. I'm not taking that chance again!

So, yeah, I didn't shut up. Not in the aftermath of seeing that film, and certainly not in the answering of this Q.O.T.W.

I think I should shut up now.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 10:20, 1 reply)

Summary:
I'm sure we've all done it - wasted money on going to the pictures for a film that looks great (or at least O.K.), only for it to be a big pile of steaming dog turd.

The biggest waste of money I've ever spent at the pictures. Apollo 13. Now I hear some of you crying out that it won Oscars, so it must be good. Wrong.

The only reason I didn't walk out of that piece of shit, is that I'd gone there with a friend. Absolutely, positively and undoubtedly the single worst film I've ever seen (and the second-worst was when myself and another friend rented out Snake Eyes a few years later, so I think Gary Sinise is somehow cursed).
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 10:22, closed)

ts;dr
;)
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 3 Oct 2010, 10:26, closed)

:(

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 10:26, closed)

Aw, course I read it.
I'm grateful you took the time to provide the abridged version as I was developing some sort of optic nerve disconnection getting through the OP...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 3 Oct 2010, 10:30, closed)

I just Googled that..
Damn these interweb abbreviations.
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 14:00, closed)