Weddings
Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in-fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us your wedding stories.
( , Thu 14 Jul 2005, 15:19)
Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in-fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us your wedding stories.
( , Thu 14 Jul 2005, 15:19)
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it tolls for thee
A few years back, one of my sisters got married in rural NC and I was slated to give her away at the ceremony.
At the rehearsal dinner the night before I downed about 5 pints of beer, a full fifth of Jack Daniels and smoked a couple of cigars.
The most memorable event from the evening (at least for everyone else) occurred after the dinner. My family went to the church at 2 am to decorate it for the big day. When we got there, I ran into the church and grabbed hold of the bellringer's rope and swung myself across the church like Tarzan, thereby ringing the bell and waking up the entire town. My family managed to get me down, took me back to the hotel and put me to bed.
The next morning it was unbelievably hot in the church, and I was sweating beer and Jack profusely. As I stood at the front of the church ready to give my sister away, I was struck with the strong urge to "spill my guts" all over the church. I stood there holding it in until finally I passed out while still standing. Apparently, as I stood there, I started kicking one of my legs like a bull getting ready to charge (my body trying to keep itself upright while my mind was elsewhere) and then my other brother-in-law yelled "he's going down" and ran to the front of the church and caught me just as I collapsed all over the wedding party. No barf though, because I'm an awesome little brother.
( , Thu 14 Jul 2005, 21:11, Reply)
A few years back, one of my sisters got married in rural NC and I was slated to give her away at the ceremony.
At the rehearsal dinner the night before I downed about 5 pints of beer, a full fifth of Jack Daniels and smoked a couple of cigars.
The most memorable event from the evening (at least for everyone else) occurred after the dinner. My family went to the church at 2 am to decorate it for the big day. When we got there, I ran into the church and grabbed hold of the bellringer's rope and swung myself across the church like Tarzan, thereby ringing the bell and waking up the entire town. My family managed to get me down, took me back to the hotel and put me to bed.
The next morning it was unbelievably hot in the church, and I was sweating beer and Jack profusely. As I stood at the front of the church ready to give my sister away, I was struck with the strong urge to "spill my guts" all over the church. I stood there holding it in until finally I passed out while still standing. Apparently, as I stood there, I started kicking one of my legs like a bull getting ready to charge (my body trying to keep itself upright while my mind was elsewhere) and then my other brother-in-law yelled "he's going down" and ran to the front of the church and caught me just as I collapsed all over the wedding party. No barf though, because I'm an awesome little brother.
( , Thu 14 Jul 2005, 21:11, Reply)
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