I was 4. He was 5. Don't judge us.
One day, little Sivvus woke up very early and fancied banana custard for breakfast. Her big brother was awake too, and said, "Okay! There are bananas!"

Little Sivvus and her brother went into the kitchen and cut up the bananas using a blunt knife, because mummy would be very angry if they used a sharp knife! After the bananas were all cut up, little Sivvus asked her brother, "How do we make custard?"

"I've seen mummy do it. I think she uses this." Her brother said, taking down a tub of cornflower. They emptied the cornflower into a mixing bowl and added 4 liters of milk and stirred it, and stirred it, until it was slightly less lumpy.

"Isn't it supposed to be yellow?" Little Sivvus wondered, tasting the gloop. Her brother nodded. "What's yellow?"

Little Sivvus thought for a while. "Why don't you pee in it, then it'd be yellow!" She said.

Twenty minutes later mummy came downstairs. There was a yellow bowlful of cornflower paste on the table, handprints everywhere, and a nasty smell. The children were nowhere to be seen.

And that, boys and girls, is why Sivvus doesn't make custard.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 19:17, 5 replies)

This is wierdly similar to something me and my brother did once
We were also about 4 or 5 and fancied cornflake cakes for breakfast.

We found some cooking chocolate and put it in a bowl in the microwave to melt it. We put it on for a bit too long though and it started burning.

Cue angry mum who had been woken by beeps of the microwave to find a chocolately smoky kitchen

Can't remember what happened but we were in trouble.
( thistle, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 20:10, closed)

I reckon it's something that every kid tries
especially if they have siblings to egg them on. ;)

Also, when I was ten my best friend and I decided to make more chocolately hot chocolate by literally melting it in a mug in the microwave... it looked like a chocolate volcano, and then set into a substance harder than concrete. We had to chip it off with a spoon.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 20:21, closed)

oh wow, this brings back memories!
me and my brother, about 7 and 9, decided to make stew in my granddad's house while he took mum to the shops. we filled a huge pan with water, 12 oxo cubes, a loaf of torn-up bread, 2 whole onions, skin still on and about 6 whole potatoes, also with the skins still on.
it was horrendous.
mum decided that, as we'd decided to make our own lunch, we could eat it. i think we managed about 2 mouthfuls each before throwing up.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 0:22, closed)

Haha, the 12 OXO cubes makes that :P

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 0:35, closed)

it made it beefy cack

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 21:35, closed)