Any kind of black metal band
who uses the word "true" to describe themselves.
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:58, 6 replies)

i heard that 'true' by spandau ballet was about black metal.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:56, closed)

No
I think it was "Gold". Sprayed black, of course.
(Rsoles, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 17:00, closed)

The great thing is
that you could say this to any such band, and they'd agree that yeah, those other bands who pretend to be true black metal are just posers.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:29, closed)

The "true" ones aren't all bad.
But the "trve/cvlt" ones are all shit. Some it's okay, but for the most part trve or cvlt seem to be shorthand for, "We couldn't be bother to pay for a proper studio and nobody involved knew a thing about recording, mixing, or mastering an album. Also, we couldn't find a drummer, so we just threw an epileptic at the drum kit and turned on a ton of strobe lights." To be fair, they're both a lot shorter, though.
( Ithyphallophobia, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 4:15, closed)

Grim
That's the other one that always gets me, describing your music as "Grim" or "Frostbitten".

To be trve kvlt it has to have been recorded in a cave in Batsfjord anyway.
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 21:10, closed)

Dimmu Borgir fan then, are we?

(Billy The Fish wants to gargle with Lucy Pinder's bath water, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 13:58, closed)