Profile for weedom:
web programmer and crap 'shopper.
[email protected]
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- a member for 21 years, 2 months and 2 days
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- has posted 20 stories and 16 replies on question of the week
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web programmer and crap 'shopper.
[email protected]
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Lies Your Parents Told You
Tartan
When I was a litte kid, my mum took me and my brother to buy our first kilts.
She picked out a tartan, and told me that was our Clan tartan. Fully chuffed, I wore my kilt with pride.
Fast-forward twenty years: While preparing for our wedding, my mum phoned up to ask how it was going.
Me: "Good, Mum. Just organising the kilt hire."
Mum: "Oh, good. What tartan are you going to have?"
Me: "What do you mean? The Gordon, of course! The family tartan!"
Mum: "What are you talking about? We don't have a family tartan!"
Me (identity wailing into the depths): "What? It's Gordon. You told me it was the Gordon! We're in the Gordon clan!"
Mum: "Don't be silly, son. That just went with my dress at the time. Anyway, what about the flowers?"
Me: "whimper"
Some people on here say "I believed this until I was 7/6/9". I believed her lies until I was twenty-bloody-six!
(Fri 16th Jan 2004, 16:15, More)
Tartan
When I was a litte kid, my mum took me and my brother to buy our first kilts.
She picked out a tartan, and told me that was our Clan tartan. Fully chuffed, I wore my kilt with pride.
Fast-forward twenty years: While preparing for our wedding, my mum phoned up to ask how it was going.
Me: "Good, Mum. Just organising the kilt hire."
Mum: "Oh, good. What tartan are you going to have?"
Me: "What do you mean? The Gordon, of course! The family tartan!"
Mum: "What are you talking about? We don't have a family tartan!"
Me (identity wailing into the depths): "What? It's Gordon. You told me it was the Gordon! We're in the Gordon clan!"
Mum: "Don't be silly, son. That just went with my dress at the time. Anyway, what about the flowers?"
Me: "whimper"
Some people on here say "I believed this until I was 7/6/9". I believed her lies until I was twenty-bloody-six!
(Fri 16th Jan 2004, 16:15, More)
» Stuff You've Overheard
That reminds me of
I worked for a co. in Brentwood, and found a text file hidden away containing a list of stupid stuff that had happened, or been said in the company. I don't know why it was there, it just was.
One girl, whose name I can't remember, featured loads in there. She used to come out with some belters, apparently. Most of which I can't remember but this stuck in my mind:
Girl: "Raj, you studied Bio-chemistry at Uni, didn't you?"
Raj (cagily): "Yeah... why?"
Girl: "Well, it's just that I'm having a baked potato for lunch and wondered if it might taste nice with mushrooms?"
Raj: "????"
True, apparently.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 16:10, More)
That reminds me of
I worked for a co. in Brentwood, and found a text file hidden away containing a list of stupid stuff that had happened, or been said in the company. I don't know why it was there, it just was.
One girl, whose name I can't remember, featured loads in there. She used to come out with some belters, apparently. Most of which I can't remember but this stuck in my mind:
Girl: "Raj, you studied Bio-chemistry at Uni, didn't you?"
Raj (cagily): "Yeah... why?"
Girl: "Well, it's just that I'm having a baked potato for lunch and wondered if it might taste nice with mushrooms?"
Raj: "????"
True, apparently.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 16:10, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
I've had a quick browse through
and no-one seems to have posted this, yet:
The doctor says to the man "I'm sorry, sir, but the test results have come back a tad inconclusive. Your wife could have either AIDs or Alzheimers. We're not sure which".
"Oh my God! That's awful! What should I do?"
"Take her down into the city centre and leave her there. If she finds her way back, don't shag her!"
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 16:02, More)
I've had a quick browse through
and no-one seems to have posted this, yet:
The doctor says to the man "I'm sorry, sir, but the test results have come back a tad inconclusive. Your wife could have either AIDs or Alzheimers. We're not sure which".
"Oh my God! That's awful! What should I do?"
"Take her down into the city centre and leave her there. If she finds her way back, don't shag her!"
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 16:02, More)