» Old People Talk Bollocks

oooooo grandmommy!!!
it was july 4th and somebody set off some fireworks and my grandmother was doing god knows what......and anyways.....the fireworks specifically went "crash pop pop pop boom cazow!" and she started yelling and ducking for cover about "the men with the guns are coming!!"and ducked under the couch.......(i wonder if she is hiding something from me.......maybe she was a secret spy?
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 20:41, More)

» Pure Ignorance

can we say ditzy?
this convo went on between my teacher and this really ditzy girl in my class
Teacher:do you need something?
Girl:uhh yeah (dead serious)...what does a plus sign mean?(mind you were are above the 2nd grade)
Teacher: are you serious? what else would a plus sign mean?
Girl:...oh...
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 4:22, More)

» Panic Buying

i get some of the oddest gifts
well one year for my friend's birthday i got her a brick out of my neighbor's backyard and i put some electrical tape on it...i called it the brick of sorrow, i think the name fits. hmm and then i got three of my friends du-rags for x-mas...you know those things that black people wear over their hair sometimes oh well you get it....

oh and this year im handing out "one free punch directly in the mouth" coupons...hey atleast ill have fun
(Sun 25th Dec 2005, 0:29, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Again! Again! weee what fun!!
ahh yes weed...smoked some with my best friend on a playground around midnight in the middle of the city right next to a street plenty of light and the sherriff of the town lived across the street from said playground (god knows how we didnt get caught)so we finish smoking and we are quite giggly and we start walking back to my house when i spot something walking along the sidewalk with me...WHY ITS A SIX-LEGGED SIAMESE CAT! i then proceeded to chase it around and try to pet it but once i got close it dissapeared..awwww sadness ensues...and my friend thought a dog was barking bullets at her so she got on the ground and commanded me as if we were in a war "GODAMNIT MAN! DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?! OR DO YOU WANT TO DIE!? GET DOWN ON THE FUCKING GROUND!"...i think i peed a little...

that weed was too good for our fragile little minds
(Sun 18th Dec 2005, 6:33, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

drruuuuuggggssss
i remember the first time i got high it was back in the day...a wednesday...but yeah anyways i was sitting at a coffee table across from my friend and after i had taken a couple of hits i blacked out somewhat and had rolled over onto the floor and as i was going down the coffee table looked like a really high cliff and i thought i was falling off the grand canyon and i started yelling at my friend to help me. so picture me laying on the ground crying and screaming bloody murder because i has fallen off a cliff...but by that time i realized i was stoned and got use to it. so we hopped on our bikes and rode to the closest diner and had a feast
we had megamunchies...hehe i said megamunchies
(Sat 17th Dec 2005, 23:59, More)