» Pure Ignorance

jings, crivvens, help ma boab.
yank : Oh gee! you're from Scotchland..
me : yes
yank : so, like, do you ever wear a pair of kilts?
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 9:50, More)

» Take my Mother-in-law...

not good.
I found her newly dumped floater in the bog, while she was staying with us. It simply wouldn't go away. Finally scooped it up in a ladel and put it down the drain outside while trying not to let her see what I was doing. Shudder.
(Thu 8th Sep 2005, 23:33, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

budding breasts
I started feeling old when my breasts started developing. I am niether female nor transexual.
(Tue 2nd Nov 2004, 16:23, More)

» Accidental animal cruelty

Rabbitocide
My dear mother decided to clean my rabbit's cage with Domestos, resulting in two fluffy bunnies gassed to death.
(Thu 6th Dec 2007, 12:57, More)

» School Trips

Sewage Works
Someone had the bright idea that it would be a good idea to take a class of 9 year olds to a sewage works.
Half way round we were shown a "sludge tank" full of "cleaned" shit. So clean, in fact, that the bloke showing us around picked some up in his hand. As soon as his back was turned, pockets were filled...cue one hour later the biggest shite-fight you've ever seen on the bus back to school. Don't think they went back the next year...Also went to Edinburgh Zoo, where Esther Ranzen was filming for That's Life...what a fucking bitch she was.
(Thu 7th Dec 2006, 15:57, More)