» Stupid Tourists

Honest it's true.
At least I think so anyway. My friend promises me....

He witnesses a Glasgow woman smacking her kid. "I'll take my hand off your face!" etc etc.
German woman walks up to her, and scolds her "In Germany we do not hit our children!"
The reply "In Castlemilk we don't gas our Jews" silenced her.
(Mon 11th Jul 2005, 19:08, More)

» Heroes and villains of 2011

Hero - Jimmy Saville
He finally did my "fix it" request.
(Thu 29th Dec 2011, 20:36, More)

» Best Comebacks

I'm Julian Clary's brother.
Years ago, I don't know how many, let's say 8.

Little brother and me arguing.
I think he was wearing something I thought was a bit camp.
Me:You're gay.
Him:No! You're gay!
Me:You're so gay it's unbelievable.
Him:You're so gay you're Julian Clary's brother.
Me:...
Him:?
Me:...
Him:... ah fuck you

So from that moment on, any time I felt like humiliating him, I told him I was Julian Clary's brother.
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 13:00, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

Finger Jam
When I was 5 I kept telling my little brother to keep his fingers away from the door in case he'd get hurt. He kept ignoring me. So I closed the door to prove my point. Trapping his fingers and putting him in hospital.

I was scared out of my wits that my parents would beat me to death, thankfully in all the commotion my guilt was mistaken for just being upset, and it was put down as an accident.

This is the first time I've confessed to doing it on purpose, "for his own good" in my mind.. sadly it's a random act of evil.
(Fri 17th Feb 2012, 0:37, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

Makes me laugh anyway...
One of the girls at work has breast implants, she gets called rubberjugs.
(Fri 19th May 2006, 4:43, More)