» Desperate Times

Microsoft Encarter Porn
When I was about 13 i was baby sitting for an Uncle. The kids were in bed by 7 and there was shit all on the telly so I fired up my uncles new Pc. Which at the time had pretty much nothing but Encarter and PaintBrush. I spent around an hour and a half later I had a Pretty blondes Head on the Naked body of Eve. I had replaced the fig leaf with a badly drawn Fanny and then managed to fill in the twigs covering her titties with a colour I grabbed off her naked chest. I spent my Load and went to grab some lemonade.
Just my luck but at the back of the cupboard was some top class german porn. What a waste of time.
Length?? About 3" back then
(Tue 20th Nov 2007, 16:34, More)

» Losing Your Virginity

UUUUURRRGH
I was 13, It was Halloween, and i Was walking past a House when I heard a voice calling from the window, I looked up and it was a rather large girl who i was in Primary school with but hadnt seen in over a year, I was with a friend and she called us in, Her parents were out and we were chatting, when all of a sudden she took me into the kitchen and dropped trou so to speak..... I was hideous, Hairy, Moist and there was pee marks in her knickers but being a horney 13 year old i thought what the hell and did her against her wall, about 4 or 5 mins into it my mate walks in and bursts out laughing, Cue me grabbing my shoes and legging it!! It was horrible and i felt sick for months afterwards!
(Sat 5th Mar 2005, 22:23, More)

» Expensive Mistakes

Packet of condoms? No thanks ill take a Risk......
Need I say more :P
(Sun 28th Oct 2007, 20:53, More)

» Shoplifting

9/11 Piss Up A Thon. Not me but my dad
You may remember an Incident a few years back involving a few aroplanes and a couple of buildings in the USA. While all that comotion was taking place I was on holiday in Spain with my Family and some family friends.
On the the day of 9/11 We all went to Porta Ventura Theme park. All except Dad and his mate. We expected to be back at the hotel by 6pm but we did not end up back there until gone 11pm.
Dad and mate had left all their money and clothes in the Hotel room and got pretty bored so they went into a Pub opposite the complex which did a Bogof on all driks every night of the week and proceeded to get bladdered on everyone elses free booze.

We returned at 1130pm to find the both of them sat on the wall outside the pub with bloody noses wearing nothing but speedos and flip flops. They had been caught pilfering the pints belonging to some rather large german blokes.
(Tue 15th Jan 2008, 13:21, More)

» Not Losing Your Virginity

Way to young...
When I was 10 I was going out with a girls from the year below me. We spent pretty much every daytime hour together for the summer hollidays having kisses and cuddles and what not in the back yard. Cue one afternoon while her mums at a friends house accross the road.
My girl said she had found something and wanted to show me. we went into her lounge and she put on a video she found under her parents bed. I forget the name but needless to say it was german porn. anyways. My girl thought it would be a good idea to get naked and copy them as they were obviously having a good time.
She put my bits in her mouth, I licked her bits... all this was very weird for us both but we gave up after half an hour when it wouldnt rise to the occasion so to speak.... We didnt get what the big fuss was about but hey we were kids. we just gave up!!

A month or so later, She moved away. didnt see her again until I was 14. I went to my best mates house for the regular friday night cider fest and he introduced me to his new bird.... my ex :P
My best mate is still my best mate. he knows what went on when we were kids (truth or dare incident) but yeah whatever heh they are still together and they got married last november.

wanna know how I actually lost my V i think i answered it in another qotw jus check my profile...
(Sat 28th Oct 2006, 2:27, More)