b3ta.com user Smelch
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Best answers to questions:

» Customers from Hell

"I'd like a black coffee please, with semi-skimmed milk."
IT'S NOT A FUCKING BLACK COFFEE THEN, IS IT???

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!

*regains composure*
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 23:09, More)

» Failed

Twice at my driving test
First time I was only 100m away from completing my test when a moron tried to ram me and forced me to almost clip a wingmirror. That was a major.

Second time I missed a stop sign. The gales the night before had dropped a tree on the sign, rendering it invisible and the white line was covered in wet leaves. There was no way of telling it was a stop junction. Still failed for it though.

Passed third time though.
(Fri 5th Jan 2007, 10:39, More)

» Essential Items

Bog roll
I'm always travelling places, or out in the country cycling, so I always carry a wad of bogroll in a pocket, just in case.
(Thu 27th Oct 2005, 14:17, More)

» Office Christmas Parties

bloody cheffing
Spent the last two years working as a chef in a 4star hotel.

From late november until New year we had at least 400 people a night to feed. Had to work xmas day, with 500 for lunch, then 500 for dinner, from 9.30 in the morning until about midnight, with an hours break, Standard pay.

The party was in mid-january, and we had to make all the food ourselves. They made us go up to get food table by table, and left the kitchens table until last, so we got the leftover shite. Then the "disco" in the ballroom had steps, s-club7 and other teeny-shite. I just gave up and went to bed. Didn't even bother last year and went on a night-time bike ride. Far more fun!
(Thu 16th Dec 2004, 22:00, More)