» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

not eaten as such - more ingested by accident
I used to drink in a terrible boozer, long gone thankfully.

Anyhoo, there was an old boozehound called Irish Joe who when running short of fuel would totter over to the nearest table and signal for a "one for the road, best pal" etc. I say signal because Joe's tongue/voice box had rotted away, the result of this was his inability to contain his saliva.

So, there was I when Joe stumbles over, taps me on the shoulder - I look up and as I do the pendulous string of dribble hanging from his trampy gob snaps. Into my gaping maw.

I'd managed to forget about this. Bastard QOTW.
(Fri 27th May 2011, 22:26, More)

» Creepy!

Shivers down the spine?
Rolling into the house in the early hours yesterday, very drunk indeed.

My alcohol pickled brain trying to figure out why there is a "Happy 20th anniversary" card on the table, then that horrible realisation sinking in..

If I'm honest the fact my bollocks are still attached to me is a bonus.

BTW The message inside said "You fat cunt"
(Sat 9th Apr 2011, 22:54, More)

» School Assemblies

At final leaving assembly
It was Chelmsley Wood school (the arse part of Birmingham), punk had happened and the poor bloke said "this in academic terms is by far the worst year I have ever experienced" Cue cheers and actual throwing of various objects at him. The police were summoned..
(Thu 13th Jun 2013, 23:50, More)

» Petty Sabotage

Not advisable
Whilst at school my friend and I got all bolshie about the 2nd floor toilets always being locked on the second floor - we were on the fourth .. we made our point by spiking our French teachers coffee with a vile and powerful laxative. He never made it ...
(Wed 4th May 2005, 21:46, More)

» Old stuff I still know

Using vi
or vim as it is now.

Actually I still use it so I'm talking bollocks as usual.

Carry on.
(Thu 30th Jun 2011, 22:35, More)