» Injured Siblings

I will burn in hell.
My sister is deaf, and once when she was hoovering I pulled the electrical plug out of the socket. This was unnoticed.

I am a bad person.
(Fri 19th Aug 2005, 16:40, More)

» Body Mods

Teh Jew!
I am jewsih and when I was small I had an uncle who had a number up his arm and I thought it was cool and wrote one on my arm too.

my parents didn't like it, and later i got a tattoo and an earring. Those are still there but the number is not. It would be a bit silly.
(Sun 3rd Dec 2006, 10:43, More)

» Weddings

weddings and funerals
At family weddings my older relatives used to tell me I was next, and they only stopped doing so when I started telling them the same at funerals.
(Tue 19th Jul 2005, 6:59, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Germans in Amsterdam
Once, I was asked by Germans where they could find the Judenviertel (Jewish Quarter) in Amsterdam. I had to explain to them that there was no Jewish Quarter anymore, and nearly started to explain them why.

Ruder still: Germans asking for the Anne Frank house should be replied to with a friendly "Damals haben sie es gefunden, es werd ihnen heute auch wieder gelingen!" (You found it then, you will succeed today).

Traditionally, whenever Germans ask for directions, they expect "immer gerade aus und dan um die ecke" (straight on, and then around the corner).

be friendly to Germans. They need it.
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 16:13, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Another one on Diana
Did you hear? Diana was on the radio.
Yeah?
Yeah, and on the dashboard... and on the steering wheel....
(Sat 31st Dec 2005, 13:19, More)