» The Police

Dumb Rookie...
I'd been forewarned about a mobile speed trap near where I worked. As I drove home I was careful not to go over the limit as I went through. I then went over a bridge and round a corner where there was a gaggle of traffic cars and assorted bizzies. To my surprise, a constable stepped into the road and signalled me to stop. I wound down the window and the following exchange took place:

PC: "Excuse me sir, but do you know your fog lights are on?"

ME: "Errr, no they're not."

>pause<

PC: "OK, move on sir."

ME: "???????????????????????????????????"

The older officers by the roadside ruefully shook their heads with hands covering eyes as I drove off.

If it was a cartoon, there would have been a huge question mark hovering above my Mini all the way home.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 17:24, More)

» The passive-aggressive guilt trip

Blabbermouth
I recently got a new job, but had to keep it under wraps until today. Unfortunately I was so chuffed I told my mum about the job and she told all her mates. One thing lead to another and it was splashed all over the papers yesterday, stealing the thunder from the official announcement.

Don't worry though, I'll take care of her. I think a daytrip in my specially modified Aston will do the job.
(Fri 14th Oct 2005, 13:10, More)

» Weddings

Went to a wedding last Saturday...
...in Central London. It was quite poignant and everyone who was invited made it.

We had a great day with lots of friends celebrating very happy occasion. It was quite cathartic under the circumstances.

And no-one was afraid (many were v.v. drunk, however, but that's compulsory!)

The first dance was to 'Smack My Bitch Up'
(Thu 14th Jul 2005, 20:36, More)

» Posh

My parents would occasionally invite friends...
...and colleagues round for dinner. One time the guests were my Dad's Director General and his wife. Her name was Stella Rimmington, and she was at the time the Head of MI5.

Also, an elderly lady invited me down to her gaff to see her give my dad a trinket. Her name was Elizabeth, and her gaff was at the bottom of The Mall. She didn't even offer us a cup of tea, tight cow.

Still, we did manage a few G&Ts at a B&B round the corner beforehand. I think it was called The Athenaeum.
(Fri 16th Sep 2005, 14:14, More)

» DIY fashion

Aged around seven
Tweed suit. Double-breasted. With tie. Every fortnight. Philharmonic concerts. With parents.

Fortunately, this ritual did not put me off classical music. It did put me off tweed.

Thenkyew.
(Sat 26th Aug 2006, 16:09, More)