» Karma

Its A Funny thing
I have worked here for 3 long years and up until this week there has been the most vile person I have ever met working alongside me.

He was constantly trying to show me up, make me look stupid, get me the sack and generally belittle me.

Saturday evening he crashed the works van into a parked car while pissed out of his tree.
The idiot tried to flee the scene despite leaving his keys (including his front door key) in the ignition, His jacket on the passenger seat, the van having his mobile number and our address plastered on it and best of all the crashed cars owner watching from his frontroom window.

He was arrested and bundled off to the cells.

Monday morning he comes into work wearing the same clothes and stinking of piss and sporting a lovely stain on the front and back of his tan trousers.

He is fired on the spot in front of everyone and promptly starts crying.

After three years of hell these fews days have been awesome.

reap what you so bitch
(Thu 21st Feb 2008, 14:42, More)

» Messing with the Dark Side

School field trip 1994
at the start of the 1993 September Term we had a new boy join our School having been expelled from the other local school for shooting a teacher with a bb gun.
Carter was/is a legend he was funny, hard as nails but an all round nice bloke.
He ended up going out with the most good looking Girl in our year and one thing led to another and teenage hormones took over and they ended up shagging.
Being horny 14 year old safe sex didnt always make the grade and in the end he hit her with the breeding pole.
Now nobody was supposed to know this but carter confided in a "friend" that his girlfriends parents made her have a hush hush abortion, what with her being so young and all.
Carter was/is against abortions and it really troubled him that "his child" was "killed".

Fast forward six months and we were all on a Geography field trip looking at stones and shit in deepest darkest Wales.
One night in the boys dorm a Ouija Board was drawn up and "somehow" (so carters so called mate) the pointer was "drawn" (pushed) towards Carter and then spelled out

DADDY WHY DID YOU KILL ME

He burst out crying and ran out of the room.
Sick joke? oh yes
Funny? Oh yes
Dead Baby ghost? no sorry
(Thu 20th Apr 2006, 13:20, More)

» Sacked

In my defence she didnt say what I had to do to it.
I used to work at what was then Safeway.
I had quite long hair, when down it covered most of my face (and it was an undercut or pissbowl style).
I was asked to tie my hair up, so the next day I came in with pig tails. Warning number one.
A few weeks later getting bored with ponytails I had a "fountain" (like a ponytail but smack bang on top of my head) Warning number two.
In my second warning meeting my supervisor pleaded with me to just do something with my hair please.

So I dyed it pillar box red and got the sack.
(Thu 23rd Feb 2006, 13:57, More)

» Shame

It was me or him
I am not proud of this at all, I am deeply sorry but at the time it was a case of survival.

I grew up in the country, And did a whole matter of countryside pastimes including Shooting.

One evening I went out for some dusk Pigeon shooting, catching them as they come into roost is always a good plan.
After a few hours blasting away the wildlife I headed home. At some point the heavens opened and it pissed it down on me.
Cold and wet I decided to take a short cut across a different farmers land.
As I crossed the final field about half a mile from the warmth of my home I heard a loud angry shout of.
"I have told you fucking Gypsie cunts before, stop poaching on my land"
It was the game keeper a nasty old cunt at the best of times and proud owner of the bigest nastiest wolf-like creature you can imagine.
Before I could plead my innocence that I was niether a Gypsie or a poacher he set the thing on me.
I damn near shit myself as the ball of teeth and hate came bounding towards me with the soul intention of fucking me up.
I started to run but realised that was stupid, so I turned leveled my rifle and shot the dog in the head.... Twice.
Then ran for my fucking life.
I have never told a soul about this, the game keeper blamed the gypsies and they were evicted by an angry mob from the pub that same night.
(Wed 30th Nov 2005, 13:27, More)

» Child Labour

paper rounds
Long story - short.
I had a paper round and ended up fucking one of the women on the round.
I was 15 she was 52.
I rock.


and I still would.
(Fri 17th Feb 2006, 12:44, More)