» Fancy Dress

Ooh, me, me!
In at number 3: a six-foot Cadbury's Flake. My Dad worked at a Cellophane factory (the one which makes Bridgwater officially the smelliest town in Britain) and the open day featured a fancy dress competition. Naturally yellow cellophane was involved but what most amused the 'rents was watching me try to walk with my entire body enclosed in a reel spool - a giant, rigid, heavy, inside-of-a-toilet roll slightly narrower than my shoulders. Thanks Dad.

Number 2: Charlie Chaplin and a cowboy and a cloud and a caterpillar and a cardboard box, simultaneously. Well it was a C party and it was my birthday, and if I want to steal everyone else's costume I will.

But at number 1 for the fourth year running: Spiderman, but that's only funny because I got lost on the way home and ended up in a really nasty bit of Sheffield. "Ah," thinks a part of my brain which is no longer given a say in these things, "if natives spot student in Spiderman costume, will trample student. If spot the real Spiderman, will be impressed and awe-struck." So my entire way home was spent "web-slinging" as only a wasted nerd can: appallingly. Darting from lamp-post to lamp-post, scaling walls which most people would just step over, occasionally singing my own theme tune. Still, didn't get beaten up - probably because they too busy pissing themselves to chase me.
(Mon 16th Jan 2006, 0:39, More)