b3ta.com user David Bardell Diks - In Car 956
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Err....

David Bardell Diks.
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Digital watches are still a pretty neat idea.

Has given up trying to get photoshop working on his steam driven PC so I use paint.net thingy.

Places I have been - visited 15 countries (6% of the world)


create your own visited countries map


Rupert and the Untold Story - Nutwood City Limits

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One day Rupert and all his friends ventured to the edge of Nutwood. They found a huge city. ‘I bet there are lots of adventures for a young care free Bear like me’ he said. ‘Your not leaving us behind!’ said his friends. ‘Come On! Last one there is a rotten egg!’
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Rupert had only been in the city for an hour when he found a lady with hardly any clothes on. ‘£5 and you can see me bare.’ £5 thought Rupert, the bear maybe in trouble. I’d better help. Later he found out it wasn’t a bear but a beaver that was shaved quite bare.
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Rupert was quite thirsty after the Pros-t-tute and found an Inn that looked warm and friendly. ‘Can I have a ginger beer please?’ ‘Take your pick’ said the barkeep. He pointed to a very fat and hairy man. Who came over and buggered Rupert senseless over the pool table.
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Paul McCartney turned down the Frog Chorus for a comeback single. So they found work as backing singers for a folk-rock group. But their hearts were not in it. As most of them now liked Deathmetal or Gangster Rap.
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Rupert bumped into Bez from the Happy Mondays. ‘Hey Rupert!’ (As everyone knows his name) ‘Have you tried my magic beans?’ No said Rupert and took two for luck. Soon Rupert had started dancing and Bez shook this maracas. ‘Your twistin me melon man!’ shouted Rupert ‘Fookin right on bear!’ Shouted Bez.
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Rupert started walking down the road by the Abbey but wanted to get to the other side. Four hippies were crossing at the same time and a photographer was taking their picture. ‘Fuck me! it’s Rupert! ’ Said Macca ‘Tell that fuckin bunch of Frogs to piss off! I’m moving to India!’. The picture was never used, so Ringo had it framed above his fireplace.
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Rupert was broke, cold, tired and hungry so he thought he had better go home. As he walked back into Nutwood he thought ‘Yes people do think I’m a cunt, but I think they are all wankers’ He waved goodbye to the city. ‘Bye-bye you fuckers, bye, bye.’
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Rupert was shot dead on 1st January 2006, the opening day of the Bear Hunting season.




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GET YOUR Err... 3 WHEELS IN LINE
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Formula Ford
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Go careful, have a good one
The Mighty S Wah

NOW KNOB OFF!

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Best answers to questions:

» On the stage

After Show Party Show
I'm no actor. So I opted to do the lighting for the school production of Godspell. All the performances went very well and I really enjoyed having a 1KWatt spotlight all to myself; panning it over the stage and audience.
After the last show came and went, we all piled into the school minibus and went to this very posh house, owned by the leads parents I think. It was a house on multi levels that was built into the hillside. The driveway had a steep incline and rounded a corner into a garage. Above the garage was a balcony, where you got a great view over the surrounding valley.
Anyway we hit the kitchen to find a table loaded with food and another covered in wineboxes and bottles of beer. The food hardly got touched. A mate of mine was found under the food table emptying an entire winebox into his mouth. Of course we didn't stop him, to be quite honest I don't think anyone would have been able to, as between mouthfuls he was growling at passers by.
I decided to check on him an hour or so later. He was shot to bits, red wine stains over a white shirt and he was moaning loudly. It took three of us to finally remove the table and drag him to the balcony. The fresh air did work wonders, after a while. Soon he was talking and even asked for a glass of water. Then it happened, the first time I had ever seen projectile vomit. It flew out of him, not curling off for at least 2 meters. Being that we were on the balcony it seemed as if time or gravity had stopped and when it finally did hit the driveway it made the sound of a bucket of water being sloshed on tarmac. In the gloom you could just about make out that a 'river of puke' that was trickling down the driveway.
We took the piss for weeks, but were all slightly in ore of his debut.
(Sat 3rd Dec 2005, 1:10, More)

» Panic Buying

Earlier thus year
I decided to drive, Lands End to John O'Groats via every mainland county in the UK. I couldn't have chosen a worst time as petrol went up to £1 a litre.
Panic buying was a problem, until I got to Scotland where no one was panicing. It was more like, no petrol = no work = time off.

The company I work for, still has two drums of diesel sitting in a field somewhere.
(Mon 26th Dec 2005, 19:12, More)

» Shame

I was very bad 1980's DJ who backed Brother Beyond over Bros.
My God what was I thinking, didn't John Peel teach me anything?
(Thu 24th Nov 2005, 23:21, More)