b3ta.com user Peach Motorbike
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Mmm mmmm

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(Wed 31st Oct 2007, 20:47, More)

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» School Days

Muck up days
too many great ones to count, but through the years i was always impressed with the efforts of my secondary school leavers, these are just some of the pranks executed on the best day of the school calendar:

When pop idol was at the height of its viewing, the sixth formers put up posters around our town advertising auditions for the show in our school hall at lunch time. Around 10 people actually turned up, all spotty no hopers with their hair gelled to perfection. The headmaster had to break the news to them that it was all a hoax.

One of our physics teachers had a battered, yellow and old ford mini van, so naturally they taped on the side in black lettering, trotters independent traders.

At the end of every year, the school would produce a magazine with details of achievements and events. An anonymous genius slipped in an extra page, made of one of those photo montage things where, lots of little pics make up one big picture. I this case it was 900 photos of bum cheeks, making up the headmasters portrait - with the caption underneath reading: This school = 900 arses and one massive cunt.
(Thu 29th Jan 2009, 12:48, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

Shouting up the stairs to my Mum, but replacing "Muuuuuum!" with "Buuuuum!"
Then loving it when she replies thinking i've said Mum. Childish, but it makes me titter. I don't live at home anymore, but i still find the time to do this at Christmas and other trips home.

A bit more farfetched is calling out Dad, but replacing with Nads!
(Fri 14th Mar 2008, 13:01, More)

» Heckles

This was my reply
to somebody booing my band last year:
www.zippyvideos.com/72399022448275.html
I knew bringing a cricket bat on stage was be useful...
(Sat 8th Apr 2006, 18:10, More)

» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Multiple memories
of putting transfer fake tattoos on it as a young child
(Fri 13th Mar 2009, 10:12, More)

» Food sabotage

Milk at Uni
In my first year at university and like many people i had to share a flat in halls of residence with people i didn't like, because they are rubbish at life.

As i expected my milk start to get pinched on a regular basis.

So in a vain attempt to stop this petty theft, i went out and bought a big red marker and proceeded to write all over each fresh new bottle of cow sap.
Now to deter the culprits, i would write on quite elaborate slogans such as;

WILLY WATER,
AIDS MEDICINE,
PLEASE DRINK MY SALTY SYRUP,
I HAVE SHAT IN THIS MILK

and so on....
(Thu 18th Sep 2008, 17:09, More)
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