b3ta.com user yousuckattheinternet
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» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Just remembered another...
My cousin was a vet nurse/assistant and she once told me that after a while they just get desensitized to putting animals down and actually couldn't care less about taking the life of your beloved family pet, even if they act like they do.

Once, she was dealing with a parrot that had been hit by a car. It was basically fucked but still alive so the Vet decided to put it down and tell the owner it had died from it's injuries. Naturally, they started playing with it's dead body, pretending it was a puppet, when the owner burst through the door. My cousin tried to cover it up by saying she was trying to give it CPR. The owner ending up buying them some wine, thanking them for trying everything they could.
(Fri 28th Sep 2007, 7:02, More)

» Oldies vs Computers

Password Problem
An older man once came into work and told me he was having trouble getting his computer to work. I ask him to elaborate and he explained that whenever he tried to log on his keyboard wouldnt type his password in - "All i get is these bloody black dots"

Bless.
(Sun 24th Sep 2006, 23:20, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

Daniel Bloody Bedingfield
Am quietly eating my whopper meal at Burger King when who should come through the door but Daniel Bedingfield.
"Look, it's Daniel Bedingfield!!" i say to my friend in disbelief.
Dan just turns around, looks me in the eyes and yells (and i mean YELLS)

"NNAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

and then storms out.

Everyone in BK laughs.

Classic.
(Thu 25th May 2006, 23:09, More)

» God

Not religious myself...
But I come from a very religious family and they are the nicest, most genuine people I know. They don't try and force their beliefs on me, they instead let me decide for myself. Even if what they believe turns out to be a load of rubbish at least they lived a great life.

That said, unfortunately my family seem to be a tiny percentage of the religious community and can understand why alot of people hate Christians!

Apologies for lack of humour...
(Thu 19th Mar 2009, 22:52, More)